Moral Terrorism

El Chupacabra is up to his old tricks. Most recently his friends gave him up to the local police for stealing a bicycle and destroying it. He gets to go to court and try to explain why his actions were rational and fun-loving. Good luck with that one Mr. Chupacabra.

You have got to love it when your "friends" give you up to the cops. Not even a "we did it together" It was just "El Chupacabra" and he acted alone! Either he is a royal a$$ or his friends are, either way no surprise here.

Here's hoping the judge throws the book at him! (Death penalty might work?)

On another note, El Chupacabra was suspended from school. He was just not going to tell us, but his brother gave him up on that one. Well, we asked him why he was suspended and he told us for being chronically late to school. He was suspended for two day. This was somewhat harsher than I would have expected, but as its El Chupacabra and the teachers hate him, I bought the reason.

Turns out he was suspended one day for tardies, and one day for printing obscene and liable messages about one of his teachers. When we got the letter from school detailing the event on Sat., only then were we clued in on the actual events. El Chupacabra was completely resistant to telling us what happened and stonewalled. He knew we had been informed, but did not know how much we knew, so he was not going to say anything in case he would add to his troubles.

He is so smart in some areas and so totally brainless in so many others. Just goes to prove that you can't trust El Chupacabra to be alone, he will eat your goats even if they are full of poison and rabies, just can't help himself.

So hers hoping the judge throws the book at him!
I want to see huge fines and restitution.
I would like to see community service, but I don't want to have to be punished too - by having to baby-sit his stupid little a$$.
Perhaps torture? I hear water-boarding is not all that bad - lets try that!

The World According to El Chupacabra

When we left our intrepid hero…
Mr. Chupacabra has been rising very early and attending basketball practice. This morning was not different, except that my lovely and talented wife had to be out of the house extra-special early. If you have ever run into El Chupacabra or the lovely and talented wife in the morning, you would know that speaking or even breathing with bad breath is a capital crime. The idea of both of them having to share a bathroom at 5 in the morning…Holly F-ing crap!

As you might guess the yelling functioned as an excellent alarm clock for the rest of the house and soon the scene was joint by the Idiot husband and Mr. Helpless, El Chupacabra’s brother.

Well, as the lovely and talented wife had to be out of the house on time and El Chupacabra had b-ball, I (albeit so very wrongly) figured things would be fine. I was up early enough to make coffee, breakfast, pack a lunch and dinner for class tonight and still have time to do the 3xS’s.

I was just about to speak with El Chupacabra about using my razor when he left the house and the Mrs. Exited about 3 minutes later.

So things were quiet?

Not really.

I was just getting out of the shower. I heard the raised voices of El Chupacabra and Totally Helpless fighting. Not wanting to have any further yelling and “negative energy” roaming the house, plus I still wanted to speak to El Chupacabra about my razor, I opened the door.

Here is where my morning crashed through the police barricades and careening into the presidential motorcade.

El Chupacabra informed me that he did not have a razor. Lovely and talented Mrs. reportedly told him to just use somebody else’s razor, like helpless’s, but mine was the only one available. This goes a long way to answering the question of why I have been going through razorblades about 4x faster than I should be. As El Chupacabra uses anew blade every time shaves, I now have great insight to the problem.

I asked El Chupacabra in a clam and very friendly tone to please stop using my razor, but that is a different story. What is important is that El Chupacabra asked me for a ride to school for not only him, but his friend. When my time schedule failed to meet his needs he then told me that the front door was open and Timmy (my blond cat) may be missing.

Of course, Timmy was missing! I was also informed that El Chupacabra needed to leave. He did add that he was sorry for leaving the door open (well somewhat sorry).

I am left, half-dressed, needing to find my cat.

The good news is that Timmy was found after a 40-minute search.

Mr. Helpless came out and brought me a flashlight, which I did not ask for, but it was still nice. I woke up my son, who told me that Timmy was not in his room and I should turn off the light and be quiet.

That brings me to the beginning of my 16-hour day. I had no time to: brush my teeth, use anti-perspirant, gel my hair, eat breakfast, make coffee, pack a lunch, pack a dinner, find my Rx for my glucose meter. Lots of great fun!

I am very glad that El Chupacabra could make it to b-ball practice. I would be elated if I thought for one minute he would learn teamwork, sportsmanship, cooperation, or any kind of wholesome values, but he won’t. The fact that he totally missed the boat on the Timmy is outside thing is just what chaps my a$$ so badly.

Yes, you should tell an adult when you make this kind of mistake. You should (without a doubt) own the problem and accept responsibility. You CAN NOT just do that and then walk away. In doing so you don’t own the problem and have no consequences for your actions.

What he should have done was be late to basketball practice and helped to find the cat. El Chupacabra should have been concerned enough to want to know where the family pet was. Of course, he is not healthy enough for that, but the frightening thing is that he not only thinks he is perfectly healthy, he thinks the rest of the world has a serious problem for thinking about this stuff.

It’s nothing 30 years in prison wouldn’t cure (well, ok…how about make a small improvement? No? Ok, how about keep the rest of use safe?)

SUCKS don't it?

I did nothing at work yesterday.
I tried.
I put on the headphones and turned up the music.
I tried to block off my cube.
I didn't answer foolish Instant Messages or join in the Reindeer Games.

but I was so out of place that it still didn't work.

I did have to help a new co-worker with her stuff, so I did do a few things, but overall a total loss.

Now I don't want to write up my homework or study for my test(s). I just want to play Guitar Hero III, watch movies (Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2) and just hang out at the house.

As I am now at the Coffee House and unpacked, there should be no reason to not be working, but guess what I am on this stupid blog trying to motivate myself.

Sucks to be me.
Well back to it.

Burned Out

I find myself a little on the burnt side. I am enjoying classes and I have lots to keep me busy at work, but today nothing is motivating me. My Brain is all over the place and especially does not want to focus on work.

I need to get a few things out the door, but it is just not coming together. I keep going back and forth on if I should try and do something non-work related for a little while and then see if I can get back at this, but I don’t know if I would come back.

My brain is screaming out for a little play time.

1) Guitar Hero III
2) Some RPG Stimulation
3) A Movie or TWO

The real issue is that even if I did all of these things and got caught up on the sleep I am short, I still don’t think I would be in the right state of mind to slog through Risk Assessments.

Well, I will try and find the headphones and lock the neurons into work mode.

Most likely I will be on to something non-productive and never get back to doing real work.
That, in my book, makes me a burnout!

Here is to finding new fuel for Tuesday and enough presence of Mind to do CYA today!

Left-handed Lire

The situation at work is such that, we as a group are pretty much overwhelmed. There are more requests coming in and the systems to deal with these requests are bogged down in vile reorganization and constantly shifting targets. The end resultant is that work is backing up and little or nothing goes out the door.

This is particularly sensitive in the world of text deliverables. The product here is a document, but if it becomes bogged down (or even moves at a good clip) the target moves and it gets submerged into the realm of can’t get out the door. By the time the new methods are integrated, the methods have changed and the documents go into perpetual flux. There are nearly 500 documents in this trap. The condition is complicated by the reality that new work keeps coming in at such a rate that we have a full day/week work of projects at any given time.

This brings me to a particular project. Lets call it project X.

Submitting this project is a very high maintenance individual. He/she made the request in a very light and airy tone [via email]. They stated that this was not urgent. About two hours later I received another email asking when I thought I could get to this project. Keep in mind that I had not even read the first email, because I was working on another project.

Well about 40 minutes after the second email came in I received a phone call/voice mail. In that message, he/she detailed the project [same as in the email] and that the project was not urgent, but that they were looking for a idea of when they could expect it.

This call came in when I was on my way to a meeting. When I returned from the meeting [about 2 hours later], I discovered I had not one, but three voice mails. They were all from the same requester. The first was pretty light and very friendly. The second was a little more frantic and asked if I was in the office that day or had I forgotten to change my voice mail to indicate I was out. The third message contained a more urgent request for the document. “The project was heating up” and “Just wondering where it was.”

While listening to the messages, he/she called again. Where in, it went straight to voice mail. This fourth message indicated that some people were now asking for the document, and it would be “great if it was nearly finished”

At this point I simply responded to their first email confirming that I had the document request. I also initiated a project request in our system [and thank God, I did]. In less than 5 minutes, even before I could finish the request entry, my phone was again ringing. I should have left it to go to voice mail, but I thought that perhaps if I talked to him/her I could put an end to this quickly and quietly.

NOPE

I answered the phone and did not get another word in for more than 10 minutes. They went through this huge detailed explanation on what the project was and how it is now this huge rush because they had requested the document at 10:15 that morning and it was now nearly one. When they finished explaining everything and asked me when I was going to get to the document, I replied that it was going to be several weeks, due to some staffing shortages. That was when I was cut off and he/she went through the whole story of how this document was urgent and who was looking for it and such. Then they asked when the document was going to be done.

Who am I Scotty telling Captain Kirk he can’t have his warp drive for 6 hours and then delivering it in 20 minutes? What was being asked for was close to 8 hours of work plus peer reviews, technical review and corporate approval. This assumes that no significant items pop up in the workflow and derail the project.

Taking a different track, I went into an explanation of the process. He cut across me after about 10 seconds and asked the question again. I replied that it would be weeks. An easy track would be two weeks and a bad track would be 4 to 6 weeks. He/she then had me confirm that I was saying weeks, not minutes or hours. I conformed this – twice [as if I stuttered or mumbled or spoke in tongues]



Well you might guess that this individual was not in the least bit happy, but I was able to get them off the phone and return to my work.

I got about two hours into my work and was summoned into my managers office with several other big chiefs. I was then questioned about Project X. I went thought the same song and dance about the no rush to rush in 3 hours and the amount of work it would require. I was dismissed and went back to work.

About 30 minutes before I was going to head home, and long after everybody else had left, I received a second request from this person. The request was rather straightforward and was similar to the previous request, but it was sent to my manager, his manager, and all the big chiefs. The first line of the message was the date [in bold] when the request was made. Now mind you that it was nearly 5:45pm when this came in.

I felt that by coping all those people, I was being called a lying incompetent idiot.

Well needless to say, it is two weeks and a day from the Project X request, and I am pushing this through, but its so screwed that I don’t even have basic composition information, manufacturing locations, or yearly production estimates. I sent back an email asking for this needed information and then called the requester. I got their voicemail and left a long message detailing the process and requesting the information.

I just got a response back that they are gathering the information, but it might take some time and then asking how long it would take to get the document once I got the info.

I took the time to respond and mention that his/her second request would need the same type of information to move forward, but have not heard on that one. What I did get was another voicemail asking when the second project would be done.

Perhaps if I went into a trance and started chanting in Hebrew, then broke into song [Rogers and Hammerstein] I would effectively convey my message!

Bear Remover

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a
ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in
the back of the van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot that dog!"

Some days

Some days your the dog and some days your the Cat
The trick is not being the cat on days after the dog got into the garbage!

To be a better man...

As time goes by and we grow older, I think it is important for us all too consciously take inventory of our lives. To look in the mirror and objectively examine our character. To unwind the fabric of the psyche to see if our thought processes are based on selfish motivations and obfuscated reality, or on the firmer foundation of faith, justice, patience and goodwill. It is a time to right wrongs and heal wounds. A time for activity and purpose. A time for resolution. Therefore, I resolve to be a better man. A man of introspection and consideration. A man for humanity. A man whose autopilot is set on a steady course to enlightenment. Yes, I will change! Man does have the ability to change! I will be progressive and free-thinking--in tune with the universe. I will listen intently to my brothers and sisters---especially the sisters, for I have not been fair to them. I promise, from this day forward, I will resist the temptation to constantly correct you. I will not spend my time finding fault with your logic. I will hear you! I promise to listen and not just stand in front of you, mouth open and drooling, staring at your tits.

I love being a contractor

Ok, your going to love this one.
So XXXXX is coming next week to do training. I have been part of every training since I started here, but yet somehow this year I was left off the invite list. This was not an oversight as I was on the invite for meet and greet, and the “simple overview” training. I have been demoted to dweeb. No longer am I going to be a XXXXX expert. I believe I am being set up as a “short timer” and if I am going to be treated that way, then I might as well act the part!

I am somewhat insulted by the whole thing.

XXXXX was a brand new piece of software when I started. It was purchased two or three months after I started. I trained and wrote most of the training material for XXXXX . I was even talked to by XXXXX about a job selling and supporting his software.
Now we did hire a computational chemist, and XXXXX is able to run the software, but its not like there are limited number of slots for training.
Melissa is also hugely OCD and as such can’t accomplish some of the tasks within XXXXX . You have to move into a messy world of models and approximations and the like. She has been given the task of authoring an SOP for XXXXX (and any other modeling programs we might use), but she can’t. She can’t write it because she needs to scrutinize every nut and bolt of the program before she will write. As that is IMPOSSIBLE, then so is the SOP.
She frequently comes over to by cube and talks to me about how difficult this task is (assuming that everyone would have this much trouble). When people have offered her answers, she rebuffs them because “how can they know if they don’t understand [insert minutia here]…”
She is also interviewing for other positions. Stefanie and Scott don’t know this! Hence it is fair to say she is actively trying to leave. She is doing so without working with XXXXX or XXXXX .

I am also trying to leave. I have been very upfront and honest with my efforts. I am treated like a short timer (a year from my expected exit date) and Melissa is not. It is not surprising, as XXXXX was treated the same way. She interviewed for the XXXXX about 10 months before she got the position (Background checks and all) and was taken off any major project and just given basic assignments for that whole time.

XXXXX and XXXXX are protecting their interests. This is true and they should. I think it’s a little excessive. Any of us is likely to simply give two weeks notice. This is considered the correct thing to do.
AND perhaps there in lies the problem.
Too little notice has obvious problems. Additionally it is considered bad form.
On the opposite side is too much notice, where in your employer gets to treat you like smelly wet dirt.

Although perhaps unavoidable notice to my employer of my leaving in the time I did it was a mistake. And a huge problem.


So I just finished counseling XXXXX on her man troubles.

Let me recount:
She is dating this guy XXXXX for about a year. They are well into the relationship (sex, pseudo-cohabitation, long term plans, financial…), now XXXXX has been complaining to numerous individuals about some of XXXXX 's issues. This guy is a pretty big looser. He has little to no ambition and a personality to match. He has some of the worst male self-esteem on earth, and is only a half-wit. XXXXX is not much better, perhaps even worse in terms of interpersonal psychology. She has had nothing but a string of doomed relationships with men who could better server her as food (Stewie stew, or Jerry steak). So the fact that this relationship has gotten even this far is amazing (congratulations to the both of them).
Today XXXXX told me how pissed she was about events from the past morning. XXXXX runs (marathons). So he is frequently jogging in the mornings (as most crazy people do). He was returning home, when he was approached by a pan-handler. Instead of telling the guy to get a job, or call the government, or to go screw himself with a fire-extinguisher, he brought the guy back to the house. Although he made the bum wait at the curb, XXXXX did go inside and return with money for the dude.

XXXXX ’s problem was several fold. She cited danger of this unsavory individual now knows where she lives. She also complained that XXXXX did not stand up for himself. He gave the guy money.

All of these things are issues, but the truth in the mater is that she is criticizing XXXXX for his low self-esteem.

We all know the dangers of living in America. Rape, murder, theft, assault, and other violent crime are a significant part of your society. So it makes sense to take some precautions. What is reasonable and sane is of some debate, but very few people advocate not locking your doors. Short skirts are another issue all together. I understand not wanting the bum to know where she lives, but I would not be so concerned either. My argument is that if he was a criminal looking for a place to break in, he would not walk up to someone on a run in hopes of finding out where he lives. I would also not introduce myself and spend time with him, as I would likely be identified. So if he is a criminal burglar then he is a very stupid one! That being said, I don’t think a huge deal is here, but rather a small one.

Her real problem is with XXXXX and his low self-esteem. Of course someone as messed up as XXXXX should be so luck to find a guy with low self-esteem. He will never leave her, because he doesn’t respect himself enough to want better. This may be a relationship that will last, albeit unhealthy and twisted.

For my self – I tried to help Miss XXXXX and her F’ed up relationship. I pointed out several times that what she was looking at was self-esteem issues. I also gave her good advice on how to minimize damage to self-esteem AND how to take steps to create an environment to grow healthy self (for both her and XXXXX ).
I sent most of last night outside. It was great. Let me say that again IT WAS GREAT!

I came home and changed, grabbed a cigar and a soda and off I went to the deck. I sat in the gazebo and smoked for a long time. XXXXX came out and talked to me as did XXXXX . It was very easy to relax. I generally have trouble with that – especially on a Tuesday night. I get to thinking about all the time I have to spend at work yet and all the B*S* that I have to endure. It was nice just to talk. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE movies and video games and reading, but that was so cool. After XXXXX left to run the kids (XXXXX and XXXXX coming home from work), I lit the fire pit. I grabbed another cigar and soda and sat in the garden. XXXXX hung out with me for a while and then XXXXX did.
Now XXXXX did have a meltdown when XXXXX ignored the dog and he peed in the house. Then he was told to clean it up and keep the dogs in the house, but he put the dogs out and left the pee. XXXXX was found laying on XXXXX bed playing video games. XXXXX was so pissed that she slammed one glass hard enough to shatter it. XXXXX could have cared less. He has yet to grasp the problem with living the way he does (if you can call it living). Why should he clean up the dog urine – its not his dog…
After the melt down, XXXXX ran off to his friends (walked to the gas station) and XXXXX returned to the fire. We talked about money and troubles.
All in all it was a nice evening. I still smell like smoke, but don’t think there is much I can do about that.

Stupid work issue number two million three hundred thousand and sixty nine – Some of our computers do not work and play well with the programs we use. XXXXX and Adobe are two that hate one another.

At one time we could print from XXXXX to Adobe (PDF), but as time has progressed, the two programs are less and less compatible. Now we can’t print at all.

So I now use the Microsoft writer (MDI) to copy from XXXXX , but if you don’t have Office 2003 or higher you can’t open MDI files. One would think that a company who uses Office so heavily would have rolled out 2003 to all of its employees (considering its 2nd quarter 2007 and a newer version was released this year!!!!!), but they haven’t. SO I am getting guff for my MDI files in the database. FU@K YOU!
I was told to request a PDF from another person who can (still) PDF from XXXXX . OR to take a screen shot and use that, hence type in all the information again!
I think they need to pay me by the hour if that the case.

Scream at length about productivity as you dump on random new requirements for our assessments. Does anyone else see a problem here? If I was a line worker putting caps on bottles, I would be asked to put three additional caps on each bottle, polish all the caps, and be asked to put out more bottles than before I was given the extra work. If this make sense to anybody (other than XXXXX ), I need to hear about it.

So, I got a request from someone who moved from the deleted XXXXX to Automotive XXXXX . This is not such a big deal, but the person did not receive descent training on how the systems work, so I am getting these screwed up can’t complete requests. The data is corrupt – it is in the system, but makes no sense. The documents are in forms that I don’t have access to. The documents are not released to staff groups or I am being given product numbers that are not even in the system.
This is 100% a training issue and costs me time. These [should be simple] requests fall out and take days. In an environment where we are measured on how many requests we complete within 48 hours … blah, blah, blah… I am going to held accountable for someone else’s bad training.

I love being a contractor.

Word from Scotland

My father and stepmother are on a vacation in Ireland and Britain. I have been getting updates via email, which is nice.

When my father sends the messages he sends one to his daughter and one to me. When his wife sends then she sends them to her daughter and cc:s me.

I am taking it as somewhat impersonal. Perhaps my emotional state is coloring my views, but I feel marginalized.

Home from Work

I don't quite know what I was expecting when I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep, but I told myself I was going into work.

Well I didn't and I am glad of it.

I also discovered that I can not drink coffee like I was 18. My body did not like it.

I did get lots of homework done and that did more to make me feel better than almost anything else yesterday.

I also watched the movie BUG. It is very good. I was expecting a creepy-crawly horror movie, but it is a psychological thriller!

Mag-pie was all over Rich last night - we have another basement kitty. I guess it should be expected as the dogs can't get down there and there is food and water and litter, but having her around is why you have a cat.

There were no requests that came into work yesterday - I originally thought that there was something wrong with my mail, but hey bonus

I WISH

I wish I were a Bird, cuz if I were a Bird
Then I could take wing high above you
You could watch my white wings flap
And I could take a great big crap
on anyone who tried to hurt you
But then I’d have to desert you
Flying southward in the fall
I don’t want to be a bird after all

I wish I were a dog, cuz if I were a dog
Then I’d do tricks to show I love you
I could run and fetch the stick
And I could sit right down and lick my privates
Whenever you mom came over
But if I was your Rover
you’d have my testicles recalled
I don’t want to be a dog after all

I wish I were a deer, cuz if I were a deer
Then we could play out in the forest
Till you shot me by mistake
Then you would carve me into steak
With a touch so sweet and gentle
Keep my head as a memento
Hanging in the upstairs hall
I don’t want to be a deer after all

I wish I were a monkey, cuz if I were a monkey
I could be you furry jester
And when ever you were blue
You’d come and see me at the zoo
My antics would be reassuring
But I would always reek of urine
and throw my feces at the wall
I don’t want to be a monkey after all

"Be alert...the world needs more lerts."
-- Anonymous

Foot in Mouth Disease

I was on my way to lunch with a bunch of coworkers. There were a number of flippant comments being made about various aspects of the day/week, so you can kind of get a picture of how the conversation was going. When we got outside, the only 3Mer among us commented on how nice it was, and I agreed and added that it would be in the 80s tomorrow. She bemoaned this and how she would have to be inside, even though she is only here for 7 hours a day. I commented on how I would not be her tomorrow and how I get lots a of little breaks to go outside and just chill. She said that school was still just like work and I would not be enjoying the day. I replied that it is more of a celebration of NOT being at 3M and less of an issue of working/being busy.

At this point she turned to me and nearly growled. She made about four quips about how inappropriate that was.

Who the he!! Does she think she is telling me how I should feel about being outside and how I should be spending my time. She told me that I should be just as miserable at school as I am at work, OR more to the point if I enjoy school I should enjoy work.

Get a friggen clue, you goose-stepping malignant See You Next Thursday!

Baggy pants crackdown goes national

TRENTON, New Jersey (AP) -- It's a fashion that started in prison, and now the saggy pants craze has come full circle -- low-slung street strutting in some cities may soon mean run-ins with the law, including a stint in jail. Proposals to ban saggy pants are starting to ride up in several places. At the extreme end, wearing pants low enough to show boxers or bare buttocks in one small Louisiana town means six months in jail and a $500 fine. A crackdown also is being pushed in Atlanta, Georgia. And in Trenton, New Jersey, getting caught with your pants down may soon result in not only a fine, but also a city worker assessing where your life is headed. "Are they employed? Do they have a high school diploma? It's a wonderful way to redirect at that point," said Trenton Councilwoman Annette Lartigue, who is drafting a law to outlaw saggy pants. "The message is clear: We don't want to see your backside." The bare-your-britches fashion is believed to have started in prisons, where inmates aren't given belts with their baggy uniform pants to prevent hangings and beatings. By the late 80s, the trend had made it to gangster rap videos, then went on to skateboarders in the suburbs and high school hallways. "For young people, it's a form of rebellion and identity," said Adrian "Easy A.D." Harris, 43, a founding member of the Bronx's legendary rap group Cold Crush Brothers. "The young people think it's fashionable. They don't think it's negative." But for those who want to stop the fashion see it as an indecent, sloppy trend that is a bad influence on children. "It has the potential to catch on with elementary school kids, and we want to stop it before it gets there," said C.T. Martin, an Atlanta councilman. "Teachers have raised questions about what a distraction it is."
In Atlanta, a law has been introduced to ban sagging and punishment could include small fines or community work -- but no jail time, Martin said. The penalty is stiffer in Delcambre, Louisiana, where in June the town council passed an ordinance that carries a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail for exposing underwear in public. Several other municipalities and parish governments in Louisiana have enacted similar laws in recent months. At Trenton hip-hop clothing store Razor Sharp Clothing Shop 4 Ballers, shopper Mark Wise, 30, said his jeans sag for practical reasons. "The reason I don't wear tight pants is because it's easier to get money out of my pocket this way," Wise said. "It's just more comfortable."
Shop owner Mack Murray said Trenton's proposed ordinance unfairly targets blacks. "Are they going to go after construction workers and plumbers, because their pants sag, too?" Murray asked. "They're stereotyping us." The American Civil Liberties Union agrees. "In Atlanta, we see this as racial profiling," said Benetta Standly, statewide organizer for the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia. "It's going to target African-American male youths. There's a fear with people associating the way you dress with crimes being committed."

Reference: CNN News Articlehttp://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/17/baggy.pants.ap/index.html

Sleep Deprivation

The lack of sleep is something I have NEVER dealt with very well.
Sleep deprivation has been a vile nemesis since I was young. Perhaps my mother had it too easy, or she was doping my milk, but I was a child who got tired and went to bed. Very rarely, did I stay up and fight bedtime. If I did then it was a good indication that something was wrong. Of course, my parents missed that cue, but in the grand scheme of things, I turned out fine.

Well I am now very sleep deprived and suffering for it. People joke about falling asleep at their desk. Now it has happened when I was working 3rd shift, but it has never really happened here, I fell asleep at my desk.
There have been times where I have been in that mind neutral state and drifted to a “different level of conciousness,” but this was full on asleep. I woke when I rolled a little and my head hit the cube wall.

Not Good!

I do really well on 8 hours of sleep a night, but I have been getting 6. I can certainly make do on 6, especially for a night or two. This all week crap hit me.

I failed to bring coffee this morning – HUGE mistake.
I have been working on very dull projects – VERY BIG mistake
I passed on other sources of caffeine – Last nail in the coffin.

Live and Learn – Must remember to get Mt. Dew before I drive home. Thank God its only 7 hours today.

32 Hours

Going to school has renewed my "light at the end of the tunnel" or perhaps given me a better tunnel.
I just sat down and instead of thinking "Great, 20 min till the stupid meeting", I thought "Hey, I have time for 3 or four songs on the iPod before the meeting."
Once the meeting is done, I am like 50 minutes to the door. This place is less oppressive by just being here less! Makes all the problems seem so trivial.

Classes and Reading

I am feeling kind of bad about my actions last night. I spent a huge block of time just watching TV. I could have stopped after about 2 programs, but its like an addiction. I had all the best intentions to get to Snap, but I ended up watching TV until I was too short on time.

I had so much studying to do that I could not make it. I did get all but one reading assignment done and I feel so much better about that. I was starting to stress. I ordered this book from a used textbook site, but it hadn’t arrived yet. There was nearly 100 pages to get through and I was thinking that I would have only tonight to get to it. I made sure to give a good review for the merchant. Now I only have about 30 pages to go over for tomorrow, then its on to Mondays readings.

I do have several journal questions to answer by Monday. I figure that I am going to just post them here. If we have to hand in the journal, I will print the posts and tape them (or staple them) into a notebook.

We all received a “journal” on the first day of class and were told that the average person writes 200+ pages in this course. Now those are hand written and in composition notebooks, so they are not the 250 word pages you get if you write in 12 point font, double spaced; or the 500 words for the normal typed page, but still…

I would love to get to Snap tonight. I am thinking about going right from work (as I have all my workout stuff), but I might be hungry and it will be hard to wait. It still the plan.
Yesterday my infusion set was not working right and my blood sugars were just climbing and climbing. Of course, I didn’t have a spare set, so I went through most of the day well over 250. My highest reading was 378 at 4:30.

Blood sugar related lethargy must have been a significant factor in my TV watching. I took two huge boluses of insulin and by about 8:30 I was ready to do my readings. Didn’t even think about that factor until now.

Wow there are way too many fragments in the text, but I am not going to correct them. I will say sorry and move on.

Sorry

These longer days at work are a bit disconcerting. I have had lots of trouble staying the full 8 hours, at least in the past few weeks. On days where stupid emergency crap came up, I was do drained by having to stay that I was very close to calling in the next day. The lack of vacation time was a significant motivator. I know I will need all the time I can get, and it is going to be vital to my success in school. Big projects, tests, special assignments, and library work are going to require vacation time. Plus I really need to have a store of time for when I just can’t get my sorry s$$ out of bed.

This program is about mental health and the ironic thing is that it requires you to sacrifice significantly (or your own mental health) to participate in the program. If I were a “just graduated” unmarried, no life, no job, no mortgage, no family, no responsibility, student this program would be a piece of cake. Of course this assumes that I have the experience and knowledge of someone who has been in the real world, held down a job, worked as a professional, raised a family, been a spouse, own land, made mortgage payments, car payments, credit card payments.

Modern Art

"This is not art to me, all these squares and things. Real art has, you know, like a madonna in it."
---Unknown (from a guest book at an exhibition of modern art)

I am the WHITE DEVIL

Went to my first classes and they were actually a lot of fun.
I had Lifespan and development first. I was somewhat surprised when there were so many questions on APA style papers, and so few answers to questions about Freud, Jung, Bandura, and others. Many of my classmates already have their MS and are able to practice. I take it as a good sign that this will be easy.

My second class was Introduction to Diverse Populations. I learned that I am the White Devil and people hate me for good reasons. On the whole I disagree with the class philosophy, but I am not going to get into why here - as I will have to author essay after essay and will get more than enough experience.

An issue I have with my Div Pop. Prof. is that she phrases everything as a personal attack. Hence I am the White devil.
People hate me because I owned slaves, nuked Japan, Invaded Iraq (OK well I guess I DID do that one), but I didn't attack Mexico, spread small pox to Indi...Native Americans, Tax, Oppress, Condemn, Rape, Pillage, or Murder.

First Day of School

It’s my first day of real classes today!
I am getting ready to trip to school – it was really hard to come in to work today. I was constantly thinking about class.
I would love to run down to the Pace meeting and get a free meal, but I am afraid of being late. I think I will go down and leave like 10 to 12. That will leave me enough time to get to campus and I have a significant potential to receive a free lunch!

Things I am enjoying:
Da Vinci’s Notebook – great and funny
My iHome alarm clock
My computer skin

Nine Years of Marriage today!

Thanks Honey

You have made each and everyone of them Grrrreat

I'm looking forward to so many more.

Awake yet?

Q: How much coffee does it take to recover from this one?

I was entering my time into the computer and for the first entry I was trying to remember when I started. While looking at the clock, which read 8:17, I was trying to remember if I got here at 8:30 or 7:30. I had a, longer than any rational person should have, mental pause as I was thinking about this problem.

A: Not all the beans in Columbia!

Who had Day 1 at 10 am?

Doctoral Program:
I took three hours on Friday night and found all but two of my textbooks online. Half.com and Amazon is the way to go!
Of what could have been a $900 textbook tab, I was able to get all of my books for about $675. That’s $225 bucks saved.
I think I did pretty well.
On two books I picked up an earlier edition, but I only did that for ones I knew I could get away with + they are on reserve at the school. Those two in and of themselves made a savings of $100.

Between used and online discounts, I am very pleased with my efforts.

Once they arrive I will take the bookstore ones back [I have till the 15th] and that will be that. Amazon has a great deal on expedited shipping for orders of over $200 so they should all be here before I actually have to go to class.

Got my school email up and forwarding to my personal account. Need to test it, MUST remember to test this.

Work Rant:
For the past couple of months, a number of my beloved co-workers have been complaining that the temperature in their cube was too cold. They b!tched about it enough that the building engineers put up temperature sensors. These wonderful devices were moved around and shuffled to other locations, but concluded that the temperature in our area was consistently 70 F. The real problem is that the ventilation system tends to downdraft right onto the people sitting in the cube, so in effect you get a wind chill – which the thermal sensors do not monitor.

Well the agitation continued and over the holiday they A/C was adjusted. This area will now be “warmer”. This was met with general merriment. I on the other hand was not happy.
As I expected it is not too hot in here. My thermometer reads 78 degrees.

F@cken freeze babies!

72 is room temperature and that is what my thermometer should read. This is too warm. I brought in a fan (well it was hiding under my desk) and had to start that up, but electrical appliances are not allowed in the cubes, so it will only be a matter of time before I get yelled at. Additionally, I don’t like working with a fan blowing right on me. I have to stare at a computer screen for the next 6.75 hours and it makes my eyes dry and strained, that tends to give me a headache.

They were ridiculous in the first place. Three of the girls brought in fleece blankets, because it was too cold. It was 70 degrees! If that is too cold, what in the name of Jesus Christ are you doing living in Minnesota? Get a clue, suck it up and leave well enough alone.

How long will it be before the complaints start and the fix the A/C? I give it till the end of the day.

Funny as I was typing that out department manager (internal client) just flagged down the building engineer and complained. So who had Day 1 at 10:00?

I went to make a cup of coffee

I went to make a cup of coffee.
This perhaps was the mistake, but I thought that it might be a nice little break.
When I went to get beans, turns out I was out. I remember thinking I needed to pick up more beans and wrestling with the idea of roasting some for work. Well in any event I never brought in any beans. I solved this part of the equation by pilfering from my supervisor.
So I filed up my grinder and made a hideous noise and a wonderful smell. When I went to inhale the aroma I got a little to close, or I agitated the grounds or the coffee bean dust fairies was working a double, but somehow I drew breath of copious amounts of dust and sneezed.
Now mind you I moved the grounds clear of the sneeze and turned my head, but managed to flinch just enough (after about the 4th sneeze) to dump over the bean grinder, hence stolen beans and coffee dust all over my desk.
Well, I went to clean this up, which was annoying, but not hugely problematic and then tried to continue making coffee.
I got my French Press set up and all ready to go. As I was adding boiling water to the carafe, I sneezed again. This made me take a tighter grasp on what I was holding and somehow pop the electronic timer off of the press and into the carafe.

Ploop!

I think I have been making coffee for about 16 years now. I have been handleing hot liquids for much longer. So how is it that I could screw up making coffee this badly?

I fished out the timer – which is not currently working – and finished filling and making coffee.

Not one minute after it was done (I think it was done as I had to use my head and a normal clock to time this event) I had two girls at my cube begging for java.

I didn’t want to send them away without, but I did not make a full batch. I filled up my cup and offered them the dribbles. Both refused.

After all of that I am finding it hard to simply enjoy my drink, but that really is my problem.

Doctoral Program Orientation

So at 9:20 the orientation got started, it was 20 minutes late. I had a sinking feeling. My history with the admission people left me a bad taste in the mouth. I selected Argosy based on its location, reputation, offering of emphasis, and Psy.D. program. I had to overlook both cost and poor management in the admissions process. The joker I was dealing with “Paul” lost paperwork, failed to update my files, and generally was not giving me the service I deserved.

His performance did pick up as time went on. From the point of setting up the actual admittance interview on, and he was on-top of things. It is worth mentioning that I had to chew him a new one along the way, but it seems to have worked. That and talking to his boss!

Well, long story short, I was accepted and had school of psychology orientation yesterday. The late start did make me think “Oh, great, more of the same disorganized crap.”, but the reality was once they got rolling it was very well organized. Other than the start everything was on time and we ended 20 minutes early.

I got to meet many of the people in the starting class. We are a combination of MS and Psy.D. students, mostly Psy.D. The class is mostly women. There are 8 men in the program. I am sure this will make for some interesting situations, but the men’s bathroom will never have a ling [like it ever does], but the woman’s restroom always has a line [hahahahahahahaha]!

I have $700 in books for this semester!
It’s a huge stack!
I am going to try and find as many of them as I can used via the internet. Basically this is an insane amount of texts at an insane price tag. I even had two of the texts and the bookstore was out of two of the texts! All total it is like $900 in books.

I start my actual classes on Thursday. It should be fun. I am able to drop to 32 hours a week as of the 9th – Thank You God! I will use a half-day of vacation on Thursday to cover the time. Hopefully the P3 access is soon to come. Just having the option to work on Saturday/Sunday is so comforting. Its another take-care of Me step.

I picked up a very inexpensive school calendar and am starting to regret the choice. It’s a Mead product and fits in a binder, but the spiral is just a little bit too small to turn the pages and they bunch up and bind. Dumb, Stupid Calendar.

I am also still looking for something to contain all of my texts in. Mom offered to buy me a rolling piece of luggage, but the children were unwilling to make the trip with me to get it, so that opportunity is lost. Dump, Stupid Children!
My wonderful wife suggested that I just use some plastic milk crates. They are cheep and should work. I just like the idea of a nice rolling luggage. Oh, well.

Flood Update

The insurance adjuster came out to the house and survived the damages. He left insinuating that we did not have coverage for the damages. When we called initially we were told that we did have coverage so we went ahead and started. Hiring a professional salvage company was our insurance companies “instructions”. The guys come out and do the demolitions. Carpet ripped up, bathroom ripped up, drywall samples…
They brought in fans and industrial strength dehumidifiers. They set up a deodorizer and other equipment – all and all they did do a pretty nice job. The house does not stink, hence it is livable.
Then nearly two weeks after the initial damage the adjuster comes out and inspects the property. At the end of the inspection he informs us that he does not think we are covered, but will go and check our policy.
At this point I was not worried as I could not even imagine that this would not be covered. This is exactly what you have insurance for. A big storm comes in and causes damage, well it’s covered, right?
ANSWER: NOPE – big fat round ZERO!!!!!

Here we are with a big bill coming from the restoration company, a giant electric bill for all the equipment that ran for over a week, and no basement living space!

A list of Damages: we lost a full bathroom, my son’s bedroom, and a recreational space.
The gas stove no longer works.
We are reduced to five people to 1 bathroom
The loss of the space is huge!

The area is worse that not finished, it has exposed tac strips and glue residue. Everything is piled up such that the space is nearly unusable.

What the hell good is insurance – they never cover anything!

I am feeling more than a little inadequate and that is not a very good feeling. My dear wife is totally stressed and I can't help, in fact I am making things worse. School is expensive and I am dropping down in hours. I am going to be nearly absent, thus I can't do it myself. Just can't! - worthless - WORTHLESS.

If I can’t get this fixed by insurance then it’s only right that my house should be re-assessed for taxes and we get a break there! When we finished the basement we got an enormous tax bill – well its no longer finished so where is my refund?

I need someone to choke the living sh!t out of. Any insurance agents out there (American Family would be best)?

Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like a man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it.
--Ted Morgan

I am getting excited about school. I think that I am going to have to use all of my vacation time to get through the next four weeks, but then I will be down to 32 hours and I should be in better shape.

When everything comes together I will
Be at school all day Monday
Professionalization Group: 9 to noon
Psychopathology 1: 1 to 4
Cognitive assessment: 4:30 to 9
Tuesday working: 8 to 5
Wednesday working: 8 to 5
Thursday working: 7 to noon and then school
Lifespan and Development: 1 to 4
Diverse Populations: 6 to 9
Friday working: 8 to 5

I am waiting to get my financial aid in. I always go out and get something semi-school related and this year it’s a big-one. I am going to get a new alarm clock. It’s a combo iPod dock and alarm clock. Should be nice for my dear wife [too], who does not want to be getting up at 6:15 or even 5:00.

Dance like it hurts,
Love like you need money,
Work when people are watching.
--Scott Adams, The Way of the Weasel

Talk Much?!?

I frequently consider the possibility that I may be suffering from a dire and dreadful affliction that’s end resultant is simple and unwavering verbosity, but not the salty overly processed form, rather the buzzing clattering type that pains all that are forced to be subject.

Going Through Life Half-Asleep

Today is an excellent example of why one should not go through life half-asleep. I think I got enough rest, but I was "not quite awake" when I went to shower. Consequently I sprayed my hair with antiperspirant instead of hairspray. I also missed my toothbrush when I applied toothpaste. Taking the later as a huge red flag, I went to get a cup of coffee. I heated and slurped some only to find it had gone rancid [Well in truth it started that way, as it was flavored coffee, but I had forgotten that my beloved wife had cooked up a pot last night]. With a prominent chemical taste in my mouth I settled on a can of Diet Dew, and got on with my morning.
Because I was half-asleep I also forgot the power cord to my computer.
I left the Blockbuster movies in the foyer and failed to check my morning blood sugar.

What a morning.

Then I got a call back from FOCUS who told me that due to an administration error my diploma was being withheld. They lost my high school transcripts and will not release my diploma until they get another copy.
The situation is I have to spend [another] $7 in order to get a document I paid $300 for. I have a letter saying I have graduated, and Argosy is satisfied that I have completed the program, but I can’t get a diploma. They have my University of River Falls transcripts, which does have my high school information (graduation year, GPA, etc.), but they need an official copy for their records to fulfill their accreditation requirements. I think that because they lost them, they should have to be dinged on their accreditation. Why should I be stressed and pressed into action to repair their error?

On top of all that I am getting a huge volume of crazy calls from external clients looking for stuff that is not even started. I am not allowed to tell them the truth [we are understaffed and hugely “log-jammed” and they can’t get their projects for a long time].

INSANITY LEVEL: GREEN but if I get one more stupid request it will be YELLOW

Impossible Projects

WORK:
This story needs a little background to understand. First, our group’s activities are governed by Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs). These are complicated, dry and unpleasant documents, which are intended to describe how our general workflow and regular tasks go. Because the SOPs are complex they have a detailed review process and are subject to [hot] debate. Thus getting a document issued is a very difficult task. One of our core functions if the creation of Risk Assessment for client products and this process has an SOP. The original SOP was published in 2000. At that time the document was already out of date because of constant revisions and bickering over content. Needless to say it was nearly useless. SOPs are intended to be reviewed and revised on a yearly basis, but the Risk Assessment SOP was not able to be revised until this year [because of the nature of the task and great debate]. For all the bickering and constant changes, the document was issued AND it included a major change to the assessment process. In the new SOP a process was implemented that would allow our documents to be audited (for QA). I was saddled with writing the document!

The process of assigning risk to a product is truly professional judgment. Somewhere along the lines a decision was made that the process had to be auditable and to do that the risk assignment needed to be a numerical process.
Thus you end up with a process that is repeatable and easily auditable (numbers v. judgment). The task of creating the metric was mine. It was very difficult and more than once did the requirements change.

I did finish it and it was put into the SOP and made “law.”

The PROBLEM:
Don’t give them what they ask for, give them what they need.
When the process IS professional judgment one should not call it math.

Now that the process is a complete failure the SOP needs to be rewritten. Nobody has been directly condescending but it’s there. It is worth mentioning that over the years various people have been tasked with what I did. None of them ever succeeded.

I did the impossible and people don’t like it.

Flood Update:
The professionals we hired have been doing a good job cleaning up the basement. The house itself smells normal. The garage (where all the rotting carpet is) is so nasty it could gag a maggot. We have to keep the carpet until Friday when the insurance adjuster can come out to smell the nasty stuff. I fear that the stink will reduce to where he wants to try and clean it [when it MUST be burned]. The rest of the house is pretty well recovered, but we are going to be under construction for quite some time to come.

I will be very happy when the basement is back to its former glory. It was a pretty nice space to play on the computer or hang with friends. Plus the kids will have additional space and the tension level will be reduced. They are forced into closer quarters than any of us like.

Flood Update...

One Word: STRESS

The unfinished parts are going to be just fine, but the rest!
It stinks – like cat crap (Poop)
It’s still wet.
We have had to call a professional to try and deal with the problem. The insurance deductible is a $500, another unexpected expense.
I guess the bright side is that I am getting a generator.
My son is contaminating my living space with his sloth (dirty stinky cloths / junk everywhere). I can’ even come home and watch my own TV. Of course I still try (had to stop my movie more than 12 times, which works out to about every 12 minutes).
I am not handling the stress well. I need to do some things for me, and I need to take my wife with me.

GOAL:
Dinner at a comfort food restaurant (Outback, Famous Dave’s, Song Garden)
Movie (even at my home, but without serious interruptions)
Some wine or other adult beverage
A Cigar

REALITY:
I am going to go home, have popcorn for dinner, and try to watch some stupid TV show. Yell at the kids and suffer from a head-ache.

A Conversation with God

HOLY SPIRIT: St. Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now, but, all I see are these green rectangles.

St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord, the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

HOLY SPIRIT: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

HOLY SPIRIT: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

HOLY SPIRIT: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

HOLY SPIRIT: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, they pay to throw it away.

HOLY SPIRIT: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow, and, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

HOLY SPIRIT: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

HOLY SPIRIT: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.

St. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

HOLY SPIRIT: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

HOLY SPIRIT: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

HOLY SPIRIT: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about...

HOLY SPIRIT: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Flood!

What can I say. The storm left us with 3+ inches of rain in less than a couple hours AND no power to run the sump-pump!

The water came up out of the sump-basket and soaked everything in the basement (and yes it’s a finished basement).

I took the day off yesterday in an effort to get things cleaned up. I figured that the sooner things could get cleaned and dried the better the chance of coming out of this without much damage.

Well I was able to get the stuff out from the basement and the water cleared from the crawl space, but then I just ran out of steam. The smell, then crawling on hands-and-knees, and the wet mess all took their toll. I had to quit and let my wonderful wife take over.

She worker her a$$ off with bleach and the carpet cleaner. Today she went over everything again.
This is a great opportunity to clear some of the crap out from the basement. A truck load of crap to the dump!

WORK:
It looks like my squeaking is getting some grease. Out HR rep got together the paperwork and I will be able to go to 32 hours some time in September. I was pretty stressed out about trying to work 40 hours a week and still be in the PsyD program.

I have no idea if I will get any access to P3 (for working add hours), but I am still squeaking.

I am going to leave for the day, but I have to wait until my blood sugar comes back up. It was 64 when I tested and I ate a rice crispy bar. Should be good to go in less than 20 minutes.

INSANITY LEVEL: GREEN
I am full of the realization that I have too much work on my plate and it CANNOT get done. There is a certain amount of peace in that framing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STILL LOVE THE iPOD!

Insanity Level: Red

Warning the level of insanity has reached RED.

Seek shelter immediately
Run!
Find cover!
Return to your homes and lock your doors. Under no circumstances should you venture forth. If you witness an instance of insanity DO NOT try to correct it.
The insane are VERY contagious.
Simply report the instance to the proper authorities.

Save yourself - the end is near!

Oh what a beautiful morning

For those of you who enjoy the show Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, I was watching him on a pig farm. This in itself was very entertaining, but the farmer was brilliant in his harvesting of resources that would otherwise be landfilled. Not the point I wanted to make, but never the less brilliant. I was faced with the stark contrast between the thought and effective efforts of the farmer and the absolute lack of intelligence here.
Our technical reviewer, who himself boarders on brilliant, was reviewing an assessment. He had lots of comments. Nothing unusual here, but the comments became so numerous that he felt it better to have a small meeting to discuss the issues, rather than trying to write all of his thoughts down.
He gathered the relevant parties in the cube next to me and began to discuss the assessment. The assessment was wrong at the most basic levels because the SMiLES was wrong. [SMiLES is a method of writing molecular structures in normal test (e.g. ethanol is CCO and phenol is c1(O)ccccc1). When this structure is wrong then all the computer modeled information is based on the wrong structure.] The error in this assessment was significant and yielded an assessment that was pretty much off-base from top to bottom.
If the assessment had been sent to me for review and I discovered the error, I would have simply sent it back to the author with the correct SMiLES and told them to redo the work. This would let the author start the assessment over, but on the correct path. Then I would have simply forgotten about the issue until the new assessment was ready for peer review.
Our beloved technical reviewer did not take these simple steps, but rather he called a meeting to discuss the error. It started simple enough, with him pointing out the error in the SMiLES. From there it crashed through the barriers of decency and common sense and swerved into the realm of insanity. He actually walked through the whole assessment and pointed out how the wrong molecule and the correct one were different. Talk about a complete waste of time. If that wasn’t bad enough, in bloody gory detail he also covered the natural sulfur cycle and nitrogen cycle, and how the fate of each molecule was different. He took a five minute review and turned it into a 90 minute waste of four people’s time.
It was like a train wreck. I could not just put on some music and tune it out. I kept listening and listening. In actuality he changed a five minute review into a waste of 90 minutes of my time too, and that is where I have the issue. I could have spent that time day-dreaming about my wife! – Oh, the humanity.

Further work reflections.
I have been as upfront and open with my decisions and intentions as it pertains to school and my career change. Many of these “disclosures” have been very costly to me personally. I have been straddled with projects that would not have otherwise been assigned to a senior member of the group. All told I have been excluded from a plethora of meetings and cut out of a great deal of projects, in favor of more routine work and drudgery. I have accepted this as a price for being well prepared for the upcoming transitions and being able to have the best possible solutions to the problems.
Here is where I have an issue. The best possible solutions were not implemented. Preparations were not made, and thus I get f@cked. I just found out that no arrangements have been made for my change in hours (from 40 to 32). No arrangements have been made for working at P3 (an alternate site with flexible hours). No forms have been filed. No approvals have been documented, and nobody seems to know anything about it.
This leaves me feeling screwed! I paid for the good intentions and am now going to be paying as if I gave no notice. Thanks PACE!
I have been shorted salary increases.
I have been shorted advancements.
I have been deigned travel opportunities.
I have been buried in sh!t work.
All of these dues paid for nothing. I am still going to get the crap of short notice.
I am going to be stuck without a laptop.
I am going to be unable to work at the alternate facility.
I am going to have to go through the approval process of changing hours.
The lesson here is to lookout for your own. On Pace’s letterhead, website and literature are the six core values. The second core value is “value employees”. This is listed right after “Integrity.”
LIARS!!!!!

Employees are values only in how much profit they can produce.
This makes me very bitter. You can bet that when it comes time to consider interests, I will not choose to serve theirs.

Tragic Event Forces Man To Spend Rest Of Life Confined To Office Chair

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The life of recent college graduate Ichabod P. Freely was forever changed earlier this month when the once outgoing and carefree student succumbed to a job offer at a local on-site support services firm, an unforeseen and tragic event that will most likely keep him confined to an office chair for the rest of his life.

While many details remain unclear, it is now believed that I. P. Freely lost any and all upward mobility moments after being hired for a data entry position at Pace Analytical on the morning of July 25. According to several eyewitnesses at the scene, the impact of Freely's full-time employment was so sudden and crushing that it has left the former high school track star paralyzed in front of his work computer screen ever since.

"You hear stories about it all the time, but you never think that something like this is going to happen to you," said Freely, who now spends most days trapped inside a windowless cubicle, and only leaves his office chair in order to use the bathroom. "It's funny: One minute you have your entire future ahead of you, and the next thing you know, you practically need someone to drag you out of bed in the morning. "

Due to Freely's condition, simple, everyday tasks such as grocery shopping, walking his dog, or even just cleaning up after himself have become virtually impossible feats. In addition, I. P. Freely admitted that he has been forced to abandon a number of his favorite activities, from jogging in the park to just kicking his feet up and watching daytime television.

Mr. Freely, who claims to have lost "all sense of purpose" due to this harrowing turn of events, is already finding it difficult to remember a time when he "didn't feel completely numb."

"People keep telling me that it's going to get easier, that I won't always be stuck in this position, but right now, every minute of every day is a struggle," Freely said.

In recent weeks, Mr. Freely has also found himself requiring the aid of various stimulants and drugs, such as caffeine, sugar, and even alcohol, just to get through the day. Worse yet, those close to the once lively 22-year-old report that he has become almost entirely dependent on computers to communicate with those around him.

"I realize that what happened to Ichabod is nobody's fault, but still I sometimes wish I could have my old buddy back," said longtime friend Derrick Hodge, who recently visited Ichabod in his cubicle. "At first I tried pretending like nothing had changed, but every time I looked at him all I could see was that ‘that chair’."

News of Freely's debilitating employment has left his loved ones shocked and feeling helpless.

"Ichabod had such a bright future. He could have gone on to do anything he wanted," said Michelle Freely, who claimed that she almost didn't recognize her brother. "To see him like this now, in that button-down dress shirt and those pleated slacks, it's almost too much to bear."

"He didn't deserve this," she added. "Nobody deserves this."

While Freely has often thought about quitting for good, one thing has kept him going through it all.

"Sometimes I imagine what a relief it would be if I just gave up all together, if I never had to deal with another weekday ever again," Freely said. "But then I think about my school loans and my credit card debt, and I know I have no choice but to keep going."

Letter to Teenagers, end

My wife and I are loving and caring people. We want the best for all the children in our home. We desire a bright and promising future for each and every one of you. We work hard to raise good and descent adults, but the problem is we are failing. Our home is recognized as one of the best treatment homes in the state, if not the nations. We are well educated, highly involved, and professional treatment foster parents (or just parents if you are my son). I spend a great deal of time trying to correct the aberrant behaviors you spit like venom. You strike at the heart, every chance you get. Why then do you fight a war of attrition against these efforts? Is it because you are lazy, and spiteful, and nasty, and short-sighted, and ill-conceived, and emotionally ugly people?

Wake-up and smell the f@cking socks rotting on the floor, you need to change your evil ways. Your sloth is intolerable. You laziness is unacceptable. Your vile contemptuous ways must stop.

Here is the way of my house. Because I pay the bills and am responsible, I will set the level of cleanliness that is acceptable. You, as someone living under MY roof, will live and behave at or above that standard. I even know your thoughts at these statements, “No way, you can make me.”

The sad fact is your right. I can’t make you do anything accept die, and because I love each of you I can’t make you do that. What I can do is convince you that you want to live at an acceptable level. SO now you are asking, “How are you going to do that?” Well, I am not sure what will be the motivation that help you help yourself, but I can promise you that I can find that motivation.

Your reality is that I control nearly every aspect of your lives. The power and the authority rests within my wife and myself. So debate it all you will, but I do have it. I have it and, fair warning, I plan to use it.

You have no idea what to do with us when we act “irrationally”. Well tough. I am going to use that as an instrument in my motivational toolbox. I am going to use everything I have to achieve my ends. I am tired of fighting fair. I am sick of being subverted by laziness, sloth, and self-destructive stupidity. I battle each of these things daily, like everybody else. Here is your notice, its time you starting fighting the good fight.


I know you had a hard life. You suffered. You were damaged by parents who were so incompetent that they should be drawn ad quartered. I do acknowledge that your start in life sucked. Here is the deal, it sucked and that’s bad, but it is not a justification for being an a$$hole. Your vile sh!theaded mothers are not an excuse for YOUR bad behavior. They are not raising you. They do not control your life. Above all else, they are not an excuse. Furthermore, the world does not owe you anything. Tragic or plush, you childhood is not any sort of ticket to Easy Street. I have seen first hand, in my son that a bad start is not a death sentence. I have see that poor parenting is not going to get you ahead, and that good parenting, albeit less painful, doesn’t get you ahead either. You must learn to stand on your own two feet and be successful in this world, and it’s my job to teach it to you.

Here is that problem again, what happens when you don’t want to learn? What can be done and what should be done to make you learn life lessons? What should happen if you refuse to learn at any price?

Frankly, I don’t care much if you are mental, pathological, or disadvantaged, these patterns of behavior are vitriolic to you and me, and thus they will change.

This question could be reframed as what are you worth? Know that I have opened my home to you. I accepted a stranger, with known and well documented problems, into my house. I am fully aware that you are not perfect little angels. I am cognoscente of the psychopathology you are burdened with, but my wife and I are skilled healers. You can reject healing, but you can’t inflict sloth upon me, or others I care for.

Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?

People often ask me when they should teach the Good News to their housecats. I have but one answer: "What are you waiting for?"

A pet is a beloved part of your family, and as a Christian, you should do everything you can to guarantee that this valued member of your family receives the glorious eternal reward for which Christ gave His very life. Think of the alternative: your cat mired in darkness for eternity because you put off a 10-minute conversation.

My own cats accepted Jesus into their hearts before they even opened their eyes. The light of salvation has brightened their lives, but perhaps the most noticeable change has been in me. I am filled with warmth knowing their eternal souls have been saved.

Kittens' hearts, at birth, are filled with what theologians call "original mischief." Mischief, if left to grow on its own, can sprout into evil. That's why you must fill their hearts with Jesus instead. If you wait, your cats might find seductive role models among the back-alley strays and rough felines from the wrong side of town. You could also end up with an unwanted pregnancy.

That's why it's so very, very important to tell your cats about the life, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus as early as possible. The Nicene Creed is a good place to start: Recite it to them when they are about 10 weeks old.

Remember: If you give a cat a fish, it eats for a day. If you teach a cat to fish, it eats for a lifetime. Perhaps that's not such a good proverb to use in this case, since fishing is actually instinctual in cats. But Jesus is not. Your kitties need to know early on that there is a fisher of men and cats alike who can save their souls.

A lot of people say, "Oh, but Whiskers doesn't even answer to his name yet." They raise a good point: Sometimes you have to teach your cat at its own level. If you give your cat a rubber Jesus to play with, it will sense that there's more to this toy. If you give it a scratching cross, it will contemplate Christ's love and ultimate sacrifice while it stretches and sharpens its claws. I myself have put an image of Jesus at the bottom of my cats' food bowls. That way, when they finish their food, the face of He who provided it is revealed unto them.

Teaching your cats the Gospel of Christ isn't just important for their eternal souls, it is also the only way to ensure that they know an eternity of damnation awaits them if they scratch your favorite chair. Before they cough up a hairball on the rug or leave a dead mouse on the doorstep, they'll know*without being scolded*that they had better watch it, as a Final Judgment awaits at the hands of the Lord.

Of course, once your cat has accepted the Lord in its heart, it's ready to be baptized. The righteous cat is one that is born again in the eyes of the Lord. People think that baptism is a rite that requires a fancy baptismal font and a preacher, but that's simply not true. Just fill your bathtub with water, say a little invocation over it, ask your cat if it rejects Satan and all his evil, and then dunk it. Make sure it is fully immersed, in accordance with Scripture.

So now, all you have to do is choose your cat's baptismal name. My cats' birth names were Meowser, Fluff, and Mr. Boots, but their baptismal names are Ezekiel, Caleb, and Mr. Paws.

Remember, a cat may have nine lives, but it only has one eternal soul. We all must one day appear before the Holy Seat Of Judgment, and although my Oliver and Lady Twinkles passed on long ago from this vale of tears, I take solace in the knowledge that, when the time comes for me to receive the ecstasies of Heaven, all of my housecats will be waiting to spend eternity on my lap.

And don't get your cats vaccinated, either. The Lord will provide protection from feline leukemia.

Open Letter to teenagers, continued...

Dear Teenagers,

In an effort to make you better humans, or at least someone we can live with, I have been trying to come up with solutions to your aberrant behaviors.

SOLUTIONS:
Take away the cell phones – I could cancel or confiscate the cell phones. Of course then the lesson of bills is subjugated to cleanliness. Plus I don’t think it would motivate you to clean. I know from past privilege removals and punishments that you just don’t care. You would rather live in filth and boredom than help with chores.
Empty the bedrooms – I could clear everything out of your bedroom. You would have little to make a mess with if its all gone. I love this idea. It is a fitting course of action for your ill-mannered and obscenely disrespectful behaviors. The problem is that I have no place to put all of your sh!t (and you have tons). I could put deadbolt locks on your closet doors, but the closet doors are damaged (by teenagers) and may not be sufficient. I could rent a storage shed, but then I am paying for your problem. I could take the rental fee out of your paychecks, but that is like pulling teeth, and the fact is you need to save every last penny you earn (not that you do). I could just let it go, but there are health codes and laws against the way you prefer to live. It just makes me want to beat you with a pipe. If I am going to use this solution I will need to install deadbolts and doors. As I already have the locks, I would only have to deal with the door. I like this option the best of all that I have come up with.

By the way, all of this adds to you’re a$$hole status, and that’s not a good thing.

I am so angry at the way you choose to live and the method you use to do such. You choose to live in total filth and without care for those around you. It is obvious you hate the other children in the house. It is even obvious the degree to which you hate them. Each of you frequently goes to great length to sabotage the others, you are willing to live “without” in order to make the other suffer. This makes you a bad person.

There are many days that I wish I could beat you. Fists, pipe, bat, whip, auto accident…

Reflections on iPod

Well I now own an iPod shuffle and an iPod 80gig.
iPod Shuffle:
I use this for walks, work-outs, and yard work. This little toy is an excellent music player. I had to spend several hours making playlists for it, but once done it’s very slick. I picked songs that had a strong beat and were paced for work-outs. I charged it fully and have not had to recharge it since. It’s pretty amazing; in fact, it has had many hours of use and still does not need to be charged! For an $80 player this thing is tops.
I know it does not have a display and its is pretty basic, but for working-out and moving around it is the greatest toy. The light, small, durable, long battery life, and cheep advantages far outstrip the disadvantages.
iPod 80gig:
This device was purchased to replace my failed Creative Nomad Jukebox USB2.0 MP3 player. I picked it up based on the popularity of iPod and the impressions I have from the shuffle. Here is where I went wrong. I should have researched the device somewhat more closely. I want to use it to base all of my music in, but it is not intended to do that. It is intended to be a player and not a master file storage system. Of course I failed to realize this until I had invested a bunch of time in getting it set up. Suffice it to say, the iPod does not work like a creative labs product.
Advantages: It has a huge storage capacity. It is a full 20 gigs bigger than the creative labs player (Nomad W). It is smaller and lighter. It has lots of iPod toys available.
Disadvantages: It only plays Apple music format (not WMAs) and video format. It does not function like other PC equipment – a different mind set. Not compatible with downloaded (and protected) music. I have downloaded about $50 in music and the iPod won’t touch this stuff. You can’t load it onto the player. It does not function as a master storage device.

Yesterday as I was trying to figure out if the iPod was worth the price, I did do some reading. Online most of my questions were answered. I found, and downloaded, programs that convert DVDs to MPG4 format. I also decided to just take the required time and convert my music libraries. In keeping the iPod I am loosing all of my downloaded music, so I went ahead and dealt with that (tried to get used CDs where possible and single tracks from iTunes where CDs weren’t available). I ordered up a tone of music last night to deal with the problem. Dollars and cents wise I spent close to $40 (which I humorously left on Da Wife’s nightstand). I will have to spend about that again on downloads, but if I took the iPod back, I would loose $38 to a restocking fee + the Nomad W is $75 more than the iPod (for less space). I will also have to find a half-ways descent program for converting DVDs to iPod format.

I like the idea of skins, cases, chargers, and gizmos for the iPod, so we must figure this has some value. I also did some research into the Nomad W and found that it too uses a special video format and has issues with conversions. Being stuck without a player has been a real pain in the rump. I just love being able to hide behind my music. There is a whole world of vile conversation going on around me and I am immune.

End Note: I am keeping the iPod and I am going to enjoy the bolts out of it. It makes me immune to the surrounding mental drivel.

THINGS I DID DO

Watch a few movies
-Live Feed
-300
-B5 A Call to Arms
-The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
-Phenomenon
Got to MoA (but it was for the boys school shopping)
I got in a game of Arkham Horror (AND WE WON!)

Viva Tequila

One Tequila
Two Tequila
Three Tequila
Floor!

To my teenagers

Dear Teenagers,

First of all, f@ck you. This is harsh, but it is well deserved.

Why is it deserved? When you are asked to unload the load the dish washer, a 20 minutes chore if you are in a full body cast, it takes you an hour (or more). Then the task is done half-a$$ed and the kitchen counters are not wiped down and the garbage is not even in the trash receptacles. Plus all of the chores you do (and I mean all of them) you approach with the same degree of apathy and ill temper. What the hell is wrong with you?

I can do this chore in less than 20 minutes, in the morning, before any coffee, but you can’t accomplish it in 3x the time nor get it right. How is this possible?

I know your abilities and this is not beyond any of you. In fact the most retarded one in the bunch does the best job. This makes you a bunch of f@cking a$$holes.

Yep it’s true, harsh, but true!
Here is what I think it boils down to. In your infinite wisdom, you think that if you do a bad job and make this such a stressful process (on all of us) we will get fed-up with you and stop asking you to do chores. This may be correct, but it makes you an a$$hole.

It is truly Sisyphean to try and make you work, but it is you teenagers who make most of the mess. What can we do to keep the house clean and orderly and not have to spend countless hours cleaning-up after all of you or ALL of our spare time trying to get you to clean up after your-own damb a$$?

As the resident adults we do take on the majority of the responcibilities, but trying to be absent from any house work is just wrong.

Stop with the teen crap and lift a finger (not the middle one)!

OR ELSE!

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO

Play Guitar Hero II
A rousing game of Vampire: the Requiem
Selfishly, the last refuge of the poor
Watch a few movies
Be able to get some exercise (in a fun way)
Sleep Late and wake to GREAT coffee (and Bacon)
Get to Church
Eat Lobster, crab and shrimp with Red Lobster biscuits
Go to the mall and get something fun + stupid (a game, some movies, a book, or a stupid toy)
Tie one on/get trashed/ eat some fruit with my good friend Jose Cuervo
Killer Bunnies
Take my Mrs. back to the club
Smoke a couple of GREAT cigars with a peppery shiraz

The insanity level is holding steady at Yellow
I need to get a few more thngs done, but the weeks end is in site.