Friday, September 28, 2007
To be a better man...
As time goes by and we grow older, I think it is important for us all too consciously take inventory of our lives. To look in the mirror and objectively examine our character. To unwind the fabric of the psyche to see if our thought processes are based on selfish motivations and obfuscated reality, or on the firmer foundation of faith, justice, patience and goodwill. It is a time to right wrongs and heal wounds. A time for activity and purpose. A time for resolution. Therefore, I resolve to be a better man. A man of introspection and consideration. A man for humanity. A man whose autopilot is set on a steady course to enlightenment. Yes, I will change! Man does have the ability to change! I will be progressive and free-thinking--in tune with the universe. I will listen intently to my brothers and sisters---especially the sisters, for I have not been fair to them. I promise, from this day forward, I will resist the temptation to constantly correct you. I will not spend my time finding fault with your logic. I will hear you! I promise to listen and not just stand in front of you, mouth open and drooling, staring at your tits.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I love being a contractor
Ok, your going to love this one.
So XXXXX is coming next week to do training. I have been part of every training since I started here, but yet somehow this year I was left off the invite list. This was not an oversight as I was on the invite for meet and greet, and the “simple overview” training. I have been demoted to dweeb. No longer am I going to be a XXXXX expert. I believe I am being set up as a “short timer” and if I am going to be treated that way, then I might as well act the part!
I am somewhat insulted by the whole thing.
XXXXX was a brand new piece of software when I started. It was purchased two or three months after I started. I trained and wrote most of the training material for XXXXX . I was even talked to by XXXXX about a job selling and supporting his software.
Now we did hire a computational chemist, and XXXXX is able to run the software, but its not like there are limited number of slots for training.
Melissa is also hugely OCD and as such can’t accomplish some of the tasks within XXXXX . You have to move into a messy world of models and approximations and the like. She has been given the task of authoring an SOP for XXXXX (and any other modeling programs we might use), but she can’t. She can’t write it because she needs to scrutinize every nut and bolt of the program before she will write. As that is IMPOSSIBLE, then so is the SOP.
She frequently comes over to by cube and talks to me about how difficult this task is (assuming that everyone would have this much trouble). When people have offered her answers, she rebuffs them because “how can they know if they don’t understand [insert minutia here]…”
She is also interviewing for other positions. Stefanie and Scott don’t know this! Hence it is fair to say she is actively trying to leave. She is doing so without working with XXXXX or XXXXX .
I am also trying to leave. I have been very upfront and honest with my efforts. I am treated like a short timer (a year from my expected exit date) and Melissa is not. It is not surprising, as XXXXX was treated the same way. She interviewed for the XXXXX about 10 months before she got the position (Background checks and all) and was taken off any major project and just given basic assignments for that whole time.
XXXXX and XXXXX are protecting their interests. This is true and they should. I think it’s a little excessive. Any of us is likely to simply give two weeks notice. This is considered the correct thing to do.
AND perhaps there in lies the problem.
Too little notice has obvious problems. Additionally it is considered bad form.
On the opposite side is too much notice, where in your employer gets to treat you like smelly wet dirt.
Although perhaps unavoidable notice to my employer of my leaving in the time I did it was a mistake. And a huge problem.
So I just finished counseling XXXXX on her man troubles.
Let me recount:
She is dating this guy XXXXX for about a year. They are well into the relationship (sex, pseudo-cohabitation, long term plans, financial…), now XXXXX has been complaining to numerous individuals about some of XXXXX 's issues. This guy is a pretty big looser. He has little to no ambition and a personality to match. He has some of the worst male self-esteem on earth, and is only a half-wit. XXXXX is not much better, perhaps even worse in terms of interpersonal psychology. She has had nothing but a string of doomed relationships with men who could better server her as food (Stewie stew, or Jerry steak). So the fact that this relationship has gotten even this far is amazing (congratulations to the both of them).
Today XXXXX told me how pissed she was about events from the past morning. XXXXX runs (marathons). So he is frequently jogging in the mornings (as most crazy people do). He was returning home, when he was approached by a pan-handler. Instead of telling the guy to get a job, or call the government, or to go screw himself with a fire-extinguisher, he brought the guy back to the house. Although he made the bum wait at the curb, XXXXX did go inside and return with money for the dude.
XXXXX ’s problem was several fold. She cited danger of this unsavory individual now knows where she lives. She also complained that XXXXX did not stand up for himself. He gave the guy money.
All of these things are issues, but the truth in the mater is that she is criticizing XXXXX for his low self-esteem.
We all know the dangers of living in America. Rape, murder, theft, assault, and other violent crime are a significant part of your society. So it makes sense to take some precautions. What is reasonable and sane is of some debate, but very few people advocate not locking your doors. Short skirts are another issue all together. I understand not wanting the bum to know where she lives, but I would not be so concerned either. My argument is that if he was a criminal looking for a place to break in, he would not walk up to someone on a run in hopes of finding out where he lives. I would also not introduce myself and spend time with him, as I would likely be identified. So if he is a criminal burglar then he is a very stupid one! That being said, I don’t think a huge deal is here, but rather a small one.
Her real problem is with XXXXX and his low self-esteem. Of course someone as messed up as XXXXX should be so luck to find a guy with low self-esteem. He will never leave her, because he doesn’t respect himself enough to want better. This may be a relationship that will last, albeit unhealthy and twisted.
For my self – I tried to help Miss XXXXX and her F’ed up relationship. I pointed out several times that what she was looking at was self-esteem issues. I also gave her good advice on how to minimize damage to self-esteem AND how to take steps to create an environment to grow healthy self (for both her and XXXXX ).
I sent most of last night outside. It was great. Let me say that again IT WAS GREAT!
I came home and changed, grabbed a cigar and a soda and off I went to the deck. I sat in the gazebo and smoked for a long time. XXXXX came out and talked to me as did XXXXX . It was very easy to relax. I generally have trouble with that – especially on a Tuesday night. I get to thinking about all the time I have to spend at work yet and all the B*S* that I have to endure. It was nice just to talk. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE movies and video games and reading, but that was so cool. After XXXXX left to run the kids (XXXXX and XXXXX coming home from work), I lit the fire pit. I grabbed another cigar and soda and sat in the garden. XXXXX hung out with me for a while and then XXXXX did.
Now XXXXX did have a meltdown when XXXXX ignored the dog and he peed in the house. Then he was told to clean it up and keep the dogs in the house, but he put the dogs out and left the pee. XXXXX was found laying on XXXXX bed playing video games. XXXXX was so pissed that she slammed one glass hard enough to shatter it. XXXXX could have cared less. He has yet to grasp the problem with living the way he does (if you can call it living). Why should he clean up the dog urine – its not his dog…
After the melt down, XXXXX ran off to his friends (walked to the gas station) and XXXXX returned to the fire. We talked about money and troubles.
All in all it was a nice evening. I still smell like smoke, but don’t think there is much I can do about that.
Stupid work issue number two million three hundred thousand and sixty nine – Some of our computers do not work and play well with the programs we use. XXXXX and Adobe are two that hate one another.
At one time we could print from XXXXX to Adobe (PDF), but as time has progressed, the two programs are less and less compatible. Now we can’t print at all.
So I now use the Microsoft writer (MDI) to copy from XXXXX , but if you don’t have Office 2003 or higher you can’t open MDI files. One would think that a company who uses Office so heavily would have rolled out 2003 to all of its employees (considering its 2nd quarter 2007 and a newer version was released this year!!!!!), but they haven’t. SO I am getting guff for my MDI files in the database. FU@K YOU!
I was told to request a PDF from another person who can (still) PDF from XXXXX . OR to take a screen shot and use that, hence type in all the information again!
I think they need to pay me by the hour if that the case.
Scream at length about productivity as you dump on random new requirements for our assessments. Does anyone else see a problem here? If I was a line worker putting caps on bottles, I would be asked to put three additional caps on each bottle, polish all the caps, and be asked to put out more bottles than before I was given the extra work. If this make sense to anybody (other than XXXXX ), I need to hear about it.
So, I got a request from someone who moved from the deleted XXXXX to Automotive XXXXX . This is not such a big deal, but the person did not receive descent training on how the systems work, so I am getting these screwed up can’t complete requests. The data is corrupt – it is in the system, but makes no sense. The documents are in forms that I don’t have access to. The documents are not released to staff groups or I am being given product numbers that are not even in the system.
This is 100% a training issue and costs me time. These [should be simple] requests fall out and take days. In an environment where we are measured on how many requests we complete within 48 hours … blah, blah, blah… I am going to held accountable for someone else’s bad training.
I love being a contractor.
So XXXXX is coming next week to do training. I have been part of every training since I started here, but yet somehow this year I was left off the invite list. This was not an oversight as I was on the invite for meet and greet, and the “simple overview” training. I have been demoted to dweeb. No longer am I going to be a XXXXX expert. I believe I am being set up as a “short timer” and if I am going to be treated that way, then I might as well act the part!
I am somewhat insulted by the whole thing.
XXXXX was a brand new piece of software when I started. It was purchased two or three months after I started. I trained and wrote most of the training material for XXXXX . I was even talked to by XXXXX about a job selling and supporting his software.
Now we did hire a computational chemist, and XXXXX is able to run the software, but its not like there are limited number of slots for training.
Melissa is also hugely OCD and as such can’t accomplish some of the tasks within XXXXX . You have to move into a messy world of models and approximations and the like. She has been given the task of authoring an SOP for XXXXX (and any other modeling programs we might use), but she can’t. She can’t write it because she needs to scrutinize every nut and bolt of the program before she will write. As that is IMPOSSIBLE, then so is the SOP.
She frequently comes over to by cube and talks to me about how difficult this task is (assuming that everyone would have this much trouble). When people have offered her answers, she rebuffs them because “how can they know if they don’t understand [insert minutia here]…”
She is also interviewing for other positions. Stefanie and Scott don’t know this! Hence it is fair to say she is actively trying to leave. She is doing so without working with XXXXX or XXXXX .
I am also trying to leave. I have been very upfront and honest with my efforts. I am treated like a short timer (a year from my expected exit date) and Melissa is not. It is not surprising, as XXXXX was treated the same way. She interviewed for the XXXXX about 10 months before she got the position (Background checks and all) and was taken off any major project and just given basic assignments for that whole time.
XXXXX and XXXXX are protecting their interests. This is true and they should. I think it’s a little excessive. Any of us is likely to simply give two weeks notice. This is considered the correct thing to do.
AND perhaps there in lies the problem.
Too little notice has obvious problems. Additionally it is considered bad form.
On the opposite side is too much notice, where in your employer gets to treat you like smelly wet dirt.
Although perhaps unavoidable notice to my employer of my leaving in the time I did it was a mistake. And a huge problem.
So I just finished counseling XXXXX on her man troubles.
Let me recount:
She is dating this guy XXXXX for about a year. They are well into the relationship (sex, pseudo-cohabitation, long term plans, financial…), now XXXXX has been complaining to numerous individuals about some of XXXXX 's issues. This guy is a pretty big looser. He has little to no ambition and a personality to match. He has some of the worst male self-esteem on earth, and is only a half-wit. XXXXX is not much better, perhaps even worse in terms of interpersonal psychology. She has had nothing but a string of doomed relationships with men who could better server her as food (Stewie stew, or Jerry steak). So the fact that this relationship has gotten even this far is amazing (congratulations to the both of them).
Today XXXXX told me how pissed she was about events from the past morning. XXXXX runs (marathons). So he is frequently jogging in the mornings (as most crazy people do). He was returning home, when he was approached by a pan-handler. Instead of telling the guy to get a job, or call the government, or to go screw himself with a fire-extinguisher, he brought the guy back to the house. Although he made the bum wait at the curb, XXXXX did go inside and return with money for the dude.
XXXXX ’s problem was several fold. She cited danger of this unsavory individual now knows where she lives. She also complained that XXXXX did not stand up for himself. He gave the guy money.
All of these things are issues, but the truth in the mater is that she is criticizing XXXXX for his low self-esteem.
We all know the dangers of living in America. Rape, murder, theft, assault, and other violent crime are a significant part of your society. So it makes sense to take some precautions. What is reasonable and sane is of some debate, but very few people advocate not locking your doors. Short skirts are another issue all together. I understand not wanting the bum to know where she lives, but I would not be so concerned either. My argument is that if he was a criminal looking for a place to break in, he would not walk up to someone on a run in hopes of finding out where he lives. I would also not introduce myself and spend time with him, as I would likely be identified. So if he is a criminal burglar then he is a very stupid one! That being said, I don’t think a huge deal is here, but rather a small one.
Her real problem is with XXXXX and his low self-esteem. Of course someone as messed up as XXXXX should be so luck to find a guy with low self-esteem. He will never leave her, because he doesn’t respect himself enough to want better. This may be a relationship that will last, albeit unhealthy and twisted.
For my self – I tried to help Miss XXXXX and her F’ed up relationship. I pointed out several times that what she was looking at was self-esteem issues. I also gave her good advice on how to minimize damage to self-esteem AND how to take steps to create an environment to grow healthy self (for both her and XXXXX ).
I sent most of last night outside. It was great. Let me say that again IT WAS GREAT!
I came home and changed, grabbed a cigar and a soda and off I went to the deck. I sat in the gazebo and smoked for a long time. XXXXX came out and talked to me as did XXXXX . It was very easy to relax. I generally have trouble with that – especially on a Tuesday night. I get to thinking about all the time I have to spend at work yet and all the B*S* that I have to endure. It was nice just to talk. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE movies and video games and reading, but that was so cool. After XXXXX left to run the kids (XXXXX and XXXXX coming home from work), I lit the fire pit. I grabbed another cigar and soda and sat in the garden. XXXXX hung out with me for a while and then XXXXX did.
Now XXXXX did have a meltdown when XXXXX ignored the dog and he peed in the house. Then he was told to clean it up and keep the dogs in the house, but he put the dogs out and left the pee. XXXXX was found laying on XXXXX bed playing video games. XXXXX was so pissed that she slammed one glass hard enough to shatter it. XXXXX could have cared less. He has yet to grasp the problem with living the way he does (if you can call it living). Why should he clean up the dog urine – its not his dog…
After the melt down, XXXXX ran off to his friends (walked to the gas station) and XXXXX returned to the fire. We talked about money and troubles.
All in all it was a nice evening. I still smell like smoke, but don’t think there is much I can do about that.
Stupid work issue number two million three hundred thousand and sixty nine – Some of our computers do not work and play well with the programs we use. XXXXX and Adobe are two that hate one another.
At one time we could print from XXXXX to Adobe (PDF), but as time has progressed, the two programs are less and less compatible. Now we can’t print at all.
So I now use the Microsoft writer (MDI) to copy from XXXXX , but if you don’t have Office 2003 or higher you can’t open MDI files. One would think that a company who uses Office so heavily would have rolled out 2003 to all of its employees (considering its 2nd quarter 2007 and a newer version was released this year!!!!!), but they haven’t. SO I am getting guff for my MDI files in the database. FU@K YOU!
I was told to request a PDF from another person who can (still) PDF from XXXXX . OR to take a screen shot and use that, hence type in all the information again!
I think they need to pay me by the hour if that the case.
Scream at length about productivity as you dump on random new requirements for our assessments. Does anyone else see a problem here? If I was a line worker putting caps on bottles, I would be asked to put three additional caps on each bottle, polish all the caps, and be asked to put out more bottles than before I was given the extra work. If this make sense to anybody (other than XXXXX ), I need to hear about it.
So, I got a request from someone who moved from the deleted XXXXX to Automotive XXXXX . This is not such a big deal, but the person did not receive descent training on how the systems work, so I am getting these screwed up can’t complete requests. The data is corrupt – it is in the system, but makes no sense. The documents are in forms that I don’t have access to. The documents are not released to staff groups or I am being given product numbers that are not even in the system.
This is 100% a training issue and costs me time. These [should be simple] requests fall out and take days. In an environment where we are measured on how many requests we complete within 48 hours … blah, blah, blah… I am going to held accountable for someone else’s bad training.
I love being a contractor.
Word from Scotland
My father and stepmother are on a vacation in Ireland and Britain. I have been getting updates via email, which is nice.
When my father sends the messages he sends one to his daughter and one to me. When his wife sends then she sends them to her daughter and cc:s me.
I am taking it as somewhat impersonal. Perhaps my emotional state is coloring my views, but I feel marginalized.
Home from Work
I don't quite know what I was expecting when I turned my alarm off and went back to sleep, but I told myself I was going into work.
Well I didn't and I am glad of it.
I also discovered that I can not drink coffee like I was 18. My body did not like it.
I did get lots of homework done and that did more to make me feel better than almost anything else yesterday.
I also watched the movie BUG. It is very good. I was expecting a creepy-crawly horror movie, but it is a psychological thriller!
Mag-pie was all over Rich last night - we have another basement kitty. I guess it should be expected as the dogs can't get down there and there is food and water and litter, but having her around is why you have a cat.
There were no requests that came into work yesterday - I originally thought that there was something wrong with my mail, but hey bonus
Friday, September 21, 2007
I WISH
I wish I were a Bird, cuz if I were a Bird
Then I could take wing high above you
You could watch my white wings flap
And I could take a great big crap
on anyone who tried to hurt you
But then I’d have to desert you
Flying southward in the fall
I don’t want to be a bird after all
I wish I were a dog, cuz if I were a dog
Then I’d do tricks to show I love you
I could run and fetch the stick
And I could sit right down and lick my privates
Whenever you mom came over
But if I was your Rover
you’d have my testicles recalled
I don’t want to be a dog after all
I wish I were a deer, cuz if I were a deer
Then we could play out in the forest
Till you shot me by mistake
Then you would carve me into steak
With a touch so sweet and gentle
Keep my head as a memento
Hanging in the upstairs hall
I don’t want to be a deer after all
I wish I were a monkey, cuz if I were a monkey
I could be you furry jester
And when ever you were blue
You’d come and see me at the zoo
My antics would be reassuring
But I would always reek of urine
and throw my feces at the wall
I don’t want to be a monkey after all
Then I could take wing high above you
You could watch my white wings flap
And I could take a great big crap
on anyone who tried to hurt you
But then I’d have to desert you
Flying southward in the fall
I don’t want to be a bird after all
I wish I were a dog, cuz if I were a dog
Then I’d do tricks to show I love you
I could run and fetch the stick
And I could sit right down and lick my privates
Whenever you mom came over
But if I was your Rover
you’d have my testicles recalled
I don’t want to be a dog after all
I wish I were a deer, cuz if I were a deer
Then we could play out in the forest
Till you shot me by mistake
Then you would carve me into steak
With a touch so sweet and gentle
Keep my head as a memento
Hanging in the upstairs hall
I don’t want to be a deer after all
I wish I were a monkey, cuz if I were a monkey
I could be you furry jester
And when ever you were blue
You’d come and see me at the zoo
My antics would be reassuring
But I would always reek of urine
and throw my feces at the wall
I don’t want to be a monkey after all
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Foot in Mouth Disease
I was on my way to lunch with a bunch of coworkers. There were a number of flippant comments being made about various aspects of the day/week, so you can kind of get a picture of how the conversation was going. When we got outside, the only 3Mer among us commented on how nice it was, and I agreed and added that it would be in the 80s tomorrow. She bemoaned this and how she would have to be inside, even though she is only here for 7 hours a day. I commented on how I would not be her tomorrow and how I get lots a of little breaks to go outside and just chill. She said that school was still just like work and I would not be enjoying the day. I replied that it is more of a celebration of NOT being at 3M and less of an issue of working/being busy.
At this point she turned to me and nearly growled. She made about four quips about how inappropriate that was.
Who the he!! Does she think she is telling me how I should feel about being outside and how I should be spending my time. She told me that I should be just as miserable at school as I am at work, OR more to the point if I enjoy school I should enjoy work.
Get a friggen clue, you goose-stepping malignant See You Next Thursday!
At this point she turned to me and nearly growled. She made about four quips about how inappropriate that was.
Who the he!! Does she think she is telling me how I should feel about being outside and how I should be spending my time. She told me that I should be just as miserable at school as I am at work, OR more to the point if I enjoy school I should enjoy work.
Get a friggen clue, you goose-stepping malignant See You Next Thursday!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Baggy pants crackdown goes national
TRENTON, New Jersey (AP) -- It's a fashion that started in prison, and now the saggy pants craze has come full circle -- low-slung street strutting in some cities may soon mean run-ins with the law, including a stint in jail. Proposals to ban saggy pants are starting to ride up in several places. At the extreme end, wearing pants low enough to show boxers or bare buttocks in one small Louisiana town means six months in jail and a $500 fine. A crackdown also is being pushed in Atlanta, Georgia. And in Trenton, New Jersey, getting caught with your pants down may soon result in not only a fine, but also a city worker assessing where your life is headed. "Are they employed? Do they have a high school diploma? It's a wonderful way to redirect at that point," said Trenton Councilwoman Annette Lartigue, who is drafting a law to outlaw saggy pants. "The message is clear: We don't want to see your backside." The bare-your-britches fashion is believed to have started in prisons, where inmates aren't given belts with their baggy uniform pants to prevent hangings and beatings. By the late 80s, the trend had made it to gangster rap videos, then went on to skateboarders in the suburbs and high school hallways. "For young people, it's a form of rebellion and identity," said Adrian "Easy A.D." Harris, 43, a founding member of the Bronx's legendary rap group Cold Crush Brothers. "The young people think it's fashionable. They don't think it's negative." But for those who want to stop the fashion see it as an indecent, sloppy trend that is a bad influence on children. "It has the potential to catch on with elementary school kids, and we want to stop it before it gets there," said C.T. Martin, an Atlanta councilman. "Teachers have raised questions about what a distraction it is."
In Atlanta, a law has been introduced to ban sagging and punishment could include small fines or community work -- but no jail time, Martin said. The penalty is stiffer in Delcambre, Louisiana, where in June the town council passed an ordinance that carries a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail for exposing underwear in public. Several other municipalities and parish governments in Louisiana have enacted similar laws in recent months. At Trenton hip-hop clothing store Razor Sharp Clothing Shop 4 Ballers, shopper Mark Wise, 30, said his jeans sag for practical reasons. "The reason I don't wear tight pants is because it's easier to get money out of my pocket this way," Wise said. "It's just more comfortable."
Shop owner Mack Murray said Trenton's proposed ordinance unfairly targets blacks. "Are they going to go after construction workers and plumbers, because their pants sag, too?" Murray asked. "They're stereotyping us." The American Civil Liberties Union agrees. "In Atlanta, we see this as racial profiling," said Benetta Standly, statewide organizer for the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia. "It's going to target African-American male youths. There's a fear with people associating the way you dress with crimes being committed."
Reference: CNN News Articlehttp://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/17/baggy.pants.ap/index.html
In Atlanta, a law has been introduced to ban sagging and punishment could include small fines or community work -- but no jail time, Martin said. The penalty is stiffer in Delcambre, Louisiana, where in June the town council passed an ordinance that carries a fine of up to $500 or six months in jail for exposing underwear in public. Several other municipalities and parish governments in Louisiana have enacted similar laws in recent months. At Trenton hip-hop clothing store Razor Sharp Clothing Shop 4 Ballers, shopper Mark Wise, 30, said his jeans sag for practical reasons. "The reason I don't wear tight pants is because it's easier to get money out of my pocket this way," Wise said. "It's just more comfortable."
Shop owner Mack Murray said Trenton's proposed ordinance unfairly targets blacks. "Are they going to go after construction workers and plumbers, because their pants sag, too?" Murray asked. "They're stereotyping us." The American Civil Liberties Union agrees. "In Atlanta, we see this as racial profiling," said Benetta Standly, statewide organizer for the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia. "It's going to target African-American male youths. There's a fear with people associating the way you dress with crimes being committed."
Reference: CNN News Articlehttp://www.cnn.com/2007/US/09/17/baggy.pants.ap/index.html
Friday, September 14, 2007
Sleep Deprivation
The lack of sleep is something I have NEVER dealt with very well.
Sleep deprivation has been a vile nemesis since I was young. Perhaps my mother had it too easy, or she was doping my milk, but I was a child who got tired and went to bed. Very rarely, did I stay up and fight bedtime. If I did then it was a good indication that something was wrong. Of course, my parents missed that cue, but in the grand scheme of things, I turned out fine.
Well I am now very sleep deprived and suffering for it. People joke about falling asleep at their desk. Now it has happened when I was working 3rd shift, but it has never really happened here, I fell asleep at my desk.
There have been times where I have been in that mind neutral state and drifted to a “different level of conciousness,” but this was full on asleep. I woke when I rolled a little and my head hit the cube wall.
Not Good!
I do really well on 8 hours of sleep a night, but I have been getting 6. I can certainly make do on 6, especially for a night or two. This all week crap hit me.
I failed to bring coffee this morning – HUGE mistake.
I have been working on very dull projects – VERY BIG mistake
I passed on other sources of caffeine – Last nail in the coffin.
Live and Learn – Must remember to get Mt. Dew before I drive home. Thank God its only 7 hours today.
Sleep deprivation has been a vile nemesis since I was young. Perhaps my mother had it too easy, or she was doping my milk, but I was a child who got tired and went to bed. Very rarely, did I stay up and fight bedtime. If I did then it was a good indication that something was wrong. Of course, my parents missed that cue, but in the grand scheme of things, I turned out fine.
Well I am now very sleep deprived and suffering for it. People joke about falling asleep at their desk. Now it has happened when I was working 3rd shift, but it has never really happened here, I fell asleep at my desk.
There have been times where I have been in that mind neutral state and drifted to a “different level of conciousness,” but this was full on asleep. I woke when I rolled a little and my head hit the cube wall.
Not Good!
I do really well on 8 hours of sleep a night, but I have been getting 6. I can certainly make do on 6, especially for a night or two. This all week crap hit me.
I failed to bring coffee this morning – HUGE mistake.
I have been working on very dull projects – VERY BIG mistake
I passed on other sources of caffeine – Last nail in the coffin.
Live and Learn – Must remember to get Mt. Dew before I drive home. Thank God its only 7 hours today.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
32 Hours
Going to school has renewed my "light at the end of the tunnel" or perhaps given me a better tunnel.
I just sat down and instead of thinking "Great, 20 min till the stupid meeting", I thought "Hey, I have time for 3 or four songs on the iPod before the meeting."
Once the meeting is done, I am like 50 minutes to the door. This place is less oppressive by just being here less! Makes all the problems seem so trivial.
I just sat down and instead of thinking "Great, 20 min till the stupid meeting", I thought "Hey, I have time for 3 or four songs on the iPod before the meeting."
Once the meeting is done, I am like 50 minutes to the door. This place is less oppressive by just being here less! Makes all the problems seem so trivial.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Classes and Reading
I am feeling kind of bad about my actions last night. I spent a huge block of time just watching TV. I could have stopped after about 2 programs, but its like an addiction. I had all the best intentions to get to Snap, but I ended up watching TV until I was too short on time.
I had so much studying to do that I could not make it. I did get all but one reading assignment done and I feel so much better about that. I was starting to stress. I ordered this book from a used textbook site, but it hadn’t arrived yet. There was nearly 100 pages to get through and I was thinking that I would have only tonight to get to it. I made sure to give a good review for the merchant. Now I only have about 30 pages to go over for tomorrow, then its on to Mondays readings.
I do have several journal questions to answer by Monday. I figure that I am going to just post them here. If we have to hand in the journal, I will print the posts and tape them (or staple them) into a notebook.
We all received a “journal” on the first day of class and were told that the average person writes 200+ pages in this course. Now those are hand written and in composition notebooks, so they are not the 250 word pages you get if you write in 12 point font, double spaced; or the 500 words for the normal typed page, but still…
I would love to get to Snap tonight. I am thinking about going right from work (as I have all my workout stuff), but I might be hungry and it will be hard to wait. It still the plan.
Yesterday my infusion set was not working right and my blood sugars were just climbing and climbing. Of course, I didn’t have a spare set, so I went through most of the day well over 250. My highest reading was 378 at 4:30.
Blood sugar related lethargy must have been a significant factor in my TV watching. I took two huge boluses of insulin and by about 8:30 I was ready to do my readings. Didn’t even think about that factor until now.
Wow there are way too many fragments in the text, but I am not going to correct them. I will say sorry and move on.
Sorry
These longer days at work are a bit disconcerting. I have had lots of trouble staying the full 8 hours, at least in the past few weeks. On days where stupid emergency crap came up, I was do drained by having to stay that I was very close to calling in the next day. The lack of vacation time was a significant motivator. I know I will need all the time I can get, and it is going to be vital to my success in school. Big projects, tests, special assignments, and library work are going to require vacation time. Plus I really need to have a store of time for when I just can’t get my sorry s$$ out of bed.
This program is about mental health and the ironic thing is that it requires you to sacrifice significantly (or your own mental health) to participate in the program. If I were a “just graduated” unmarried, no life, no job, no mortgage, no family, no responsibility, student this program would be a piece of cake. Of course this assumes that I have the experience and knowledge of someone who has been in the real world, held down a job, worked as a professional, raised a family, been a spouse, own land, made mortgage payments, car payments, credit card payments.
I had so much studying to do that I could not make it. I did get all but one reading assignment done and I feel so much better about that. I was starting to stress. I ordered this book from a used textbook site, but it hadn’t arrived yet. There was nearly 100 pages to get through and I was thinking that I would have only tonight to get to it. I made sure to give a good review for the merchant. Now I only have about 30 pages to go over for tomorrow, then its on to Mondays readings.
I do have several journal questions to answer by Monday. I figure that I am going to just post them here. If we have to hand in the journal, I will print the posts and tape them (or staple them) into a notebook.
We all received a “journal” on the first day of class and were told that the average person writes 200+ pages in this course. Now those are hand written and in composition notebooks, so they are not the 250 word pages you get if you write in 12 point font, double spaced; or the 500 words for the normal typed page, but still…
I would love to get to Snap tonight. I am thinking about going right from work (as I have all my workout stuff), but I might be hungry and it will be hard to wait. It still the plan.
Yesterday my infusion set was not working right and my blood sugars were just climbing and climbing. Of course, I didn’t have a spare set, so I went through most of the day well over 250. My highest reading was 378 at 4:30.
Blood sugar related lethargy must have been a significant factor in my TV watching. I took two huge boluses of insulin and by about 8:30 I was ready to do my readings. Didn’t even think about that factor until now.
Wow there are way too many fragments in the text, but I am not going to correct them. I will say sorry and move on.
Sorry
These longer days at work are a bit disconcerting. I have had lots of trouble staying the full 8 hours, at least in the past few weeks. On days where stupid emergency crap came up, I was do drained by having to stay that I was very close to calling in the next day. The lack of vacation time was a significant motivator. I know I will need all the time I can get, and it is going to be vital to my success in school. Big projects, tests, special assignments, and library work are going to require vacation time. Plus I really need to have a store of time for when I just can’t get my sorry s$$ out of bed.
This program is about mental health and the ironic thing is that it requires you to sacrifice significantly (or your own mental health) to participate in the program. If I were a “just graduated” unmarried, no life, no job, no mortgage, no family, no responsibility, student this program would be a piece of cake. Of course this assumes that I have the experience and knowledge of someone who has been in the real world, held down a job, worked as a professional, raised a family, been a spouse, own land, made mortgage payments, car payments, credit card payments.
Modern Art
"This is not art to me, all these squares and things. Real art has, you know, like a madonna in it."
---Unknown (from a guest book at an exhibition of modern art)
---Unknown (from a guest book at an exhibition of modern art)
Friday, September 7, 2007
I am the WHITE DEVIL
Went to my first classes and they were actually a lot of fun.
I had Lifespan and development first. I was somewhat surprised when there were so many questions on APA style papers, and so few answers to questions about Freud, Jung, Bandura, and others. Many of my classmates already have their MS and are able to practice. I take it as a good sign that this will be easy.
My second class was Introduction to Diverse Populations. I learned that I am the White Devil and people hate me for good reasons. On the whole I disagree with the class philosophy, but I am not going to get into why here - as I will have to author essay after essay and will get more than enough experience.
An issue I have with my Div Pop. Prof. is that she phrases everything as a personal attack. Hence I am the White devil.
People hate me because I owned slaves, nuked Japan, Invaded Iraq (OK well I guess I DID do that one), but I didn't attack Mexico, spread small pox to Indi...Native Americans, Tax, Oppress, Condemn, Rape, Pillage, or Murder.
I had Lifespan and development first. I was somewhat surprised when there were so many questions on APA style papers, and so few answers to questions about Freud, Jung, Bandura, and others. Many of my classmates already have their MS and are able to practice. I take it as a good sign that this will be easy.
My second class was Introduction to Diverse Populations. I learned that I am the White Devil and people hate me for good reasons. On the whole I disagree with the class philosophy, but I am not going to get into why here - as I will have to author essay after essay and will get more than enough experience.An issue I have with my Div Pop. Prof. is that she phrases everything as a personal attack. Hence I am the White devil.
People hate me because I owned slaves, nuked Japan, Invaded Iraq (OK well I guess I DID do that one), but I didn't attack Mexico, spread small pox to Indi...Native Americans, Tax, Oppress, Condemn, Rape, Pillage, or Murder.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
First Day of School
It’s my first day of real classes today!
I am getting ready to trip to school – it was really hard to come in to work today. I was constantly thinking about class.
I would love to run down to the Pace meeting and get a free meal, but I am afraid of being late. I think I will go down and leave like 10 to 12. That will leave me enough time to get to campus and I have a significant potential to receive a free lunch!
Things I am enjoying:
Da Vinci’s Notebook – great and funny
My iHome alarm clock
My computer skin
I am getting ready to trip to school – it was really hard to come in to work today. I was constantly thinking about class.
I would love to run down to the Pace meeting and get a free meal, but I am afraid of being late. I think I will go down and leave like 10 to 12. That will leave me enough time to get to campus and I have a significant potential to receive a free lunch!
Things I am enjoying:
Da Vinci’s Notebook – great and funny
My iHome alarm clock
My computer skin
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Awake yet?
Q: How much coffee does it take to recover from this one?
I was entering my time into the computer and for the first entry I was trying to remember when I started. While looking at the clock, which read 8:17, I was trying to remember if I got here at 8:30 or 7:30. I had a, longer than any rational person should have, mental pause as I was thinking about this problem.
A: Not all the beans in Columbia!
I was entering my time into the computer and for the first entry I was trying to remember when I started. While looking at the clock, which read 8:17, I was trying to remember if I got here at 8:30 or 7:30. I had a, longer than any rational person should have, mental pause as I was thinking about this problem.
A: Not all the beans in Columbia!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Who had Day 1 at 10 am?
Doctoral Program:
I took three hours on Friday night and found all but two of my textbooks online. Half.com and Amazon is the way to go!
Of what could have been a $900 textbook tab, I was able to get all of my books for about $675. That’s $225 bucks saved.
I think I did pretty well.
On two books I picked up an earlier edition, but I only did that for ones I knew I could get away with + they are on reserve at the school. Those two in and of themselves made a savings of $100.
Between used and online discounts, I am very pleased with my efforts.
Once they arrive I will take the bookstore ones back [I have till the 15th] and that will be that. Amazon has a great deal on expedited shipping for orders of over $200 so they should all be here before I actually have to go to class.
Got my school email up and forwarding to my personal account. Need to test it, MUST remember to test this.
Work Rant:
For the past couple of months, a number of my beloved co-workers have been complaining that the temperature in their cube was too cold. They b!tched about it enough that the building engineers put up temperature sensors. These wonderful devices were moved around and shuffled to other locations, but concluded that the temperature in our area was consistently 70 F. The real problem is that the ventilation system tends to downdraft right onto the people sitting in the cube, so in effect you get a wind chill – which the thermal sensors do not monitor.
Well the agitation continued and over the holiday they A/C was adjusted. This area will now be “warmer”. This was met with general merriment. I on the other hand was not happy.
As I expected it is not too hot in here. My thermometer reads 78 degrees.
F@cken freeze babies!
72 is room temperature and that is what my thermometer should read. This is too warm. I brought in a fan (well it was hiding under my desk) and had to start that up, but electrical appliances are not allowed in the cubes, so it will only be a matter of time before I get yelled at. Additionally, I don’t like working with a fan blowing right on me. I have to stare at a computer screen for the next 6.75 hours and it makes my eyes dry and strained, that tends to give me a headache.
They were ridiculous in the first place. Three of the girls brought in fleece blankets, because it was too cold. It was 70 degrees! If that is too cold, what in the name of Jesus Christ are you doing living in Minnesota? Get a clue, suck it up and leave well enough alone.
How long will it be before the complaints start and the fix the A/C? I give it till the end of the day.
Funny as I was typing that out department manager (internal client) just flagged down the building engineer and complained. So who had Day 1 at 10:00?
I took three hours on Friday night and found all but two of my textbooks online. Half.com and Amazon is the way to go!
Of what could have been a $900 textbook tab, I was able to get all of my books for about $675. That’s $225 bucks saved.
I think I did pretty well.
On two books I picked up an earlier edition, but I only did that for ones I knew I could get away with + they are on reserve at the school. Those two in and of themselves made a savings of $100.
Between used and online discounts, I am very pleased with my efforts.
Once they arrive I will take the bookstore ones back [I have till the 15th] and that will be that. Amazon has a great deal on expedited shipping for orders of over $200 so they should all be here before I actually have to go to class.
Got my school email up and forwarding to my personal account. Need to test it, MUST remember to test this.
Work Rant:
For the past couple of months, a number of my beloved co-workers have been complaining that the temperature in their cube was too cold. They b!tched about it enough that the building engineers put up temperature sensors. These wonderful devices were moved around and shuffled to other locations, but concluded that the temperature in our area was consistently 70 F. The real problem is that the ventilation system tends to downdraft right onto the people sitting in the cube, so in effect you get a wind chill – which the thermal sensors do not monitor.
Well the agitation continued and over the holiday they A/C was adjusted. This area will now be “warmer”. This was met with general merriment. I on the other hand was not happy.
As I expected it is not too hot in here. My thermometer reads 78 degrees.
F@cken freeze babies!
72 is room temperature and that is what my thermometer should read. This is too warm. I brought in a fan (well it was hiding under my desk) and had to start that up, but electrical appliances are not allowed in the cubes, so it will only be a matter of time before I get yelled at. Additionally, I don’t like working with a fan blowing right on me. I have to stare at a computer screen for the next 6.75 hours and it makes my eyes dry and strained, that tends to give me a headache.
They were ridiculous in the first place. Three of the girls brought in fleece blankets, because it was too cold. It was 70 degrees! If that is too cold, what in the name of Jesus Christ are you doing living in Minnesota? Get a clue, suck it up and leave well enough alone.
How long will it be before the complaints start and the fix the A/C? I give it till the end of the day.
Funny as I was typing that out department manager (internal client) just flagged down the building engineer and complained. So who had Day 1 at 10:00?
I went to make a cup of coffee
I went to make a cup of coffee.This perhaps was the mistake, but I thought that it might be a nice little break.
When I went to get beans, turns out I was out. I remember thinking I needed to pick up more beans and wrestling with the idea of roasting some for work. Well in any event I never brought in any beans. I solved this part of the equation by pilfering from my supervisor.
So I filed up my grinder and made a hideous noise and a wonderful smell. When I went to inhale the aroma I got a little to close, or I agitated the grounds or the coffee bean dust fairies was working a double, but somehow I drew breath of copious amounts of dust and sneezed.
Now mind you I moved the grounds clear of the sneeze and turned my head, but managed to flinch just enough (after about the 4th sneeze) to dump over the bean grinder, hence stolen beans and coffee dust all over my desk.
Well, I went to clean this up, which was annoying, but not hugely problematic and then tried to continue making coffee.
I got my French Press set up and all ready to go. As I was adding boiling water to the carafe, I sneezed again. This made me take a tighter grasp on what I was holding and somehow pop the electronic timer off of the press and into the carafe.Ploop!
I think I have been making coffee for about 16 years now. I have been handleing hot liquids for much longer. So how is it that I could screw up making coffee this badly?
I fished out the timer – which is not currently working – and finished filling and making coffee.
Not one minute after it was done (I think it was done as I had to use my head and a normal clock to time this event) I had two girls at my cube begging for java.
I didn’t want to send them away without, but I did not make a full batch. I filled up my cup and offered them the dribbles. Both refused.
After all of that I am finding it hard to simply enjoy my drink, but that really is my problem.
I think I have been making coffee for about 16 years now. I have been handleing hot liquids for much longer. So how is it that I could screw up making coffee this badly?
I fished out the timer – which is not currently working – and finished filling and making coffee.
Not one minute after it was done (I think it was done as I had to use my head and a normal clock to time this event) I had two girls at my cube begging for java.
I didn’t want to send them away without, but I did not make a full batch. I filled up my cup and offered them the dribbles. Both refused.
After all of that I am finding it hard to simply enjoy my drink, but that really is my problem.
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