Elves are moving my forks, spoons, knives, and dishes

As I was up late last night I slept in somewhat this morning, but I thought it would be fine. I spent several hours yesterday cleaning the house and I made sure to clean up all the damage from my friends visit before turning in. Hence the house should have been in great shape.

Sure the cats may have knocked some papers and the like on the floor and I was going to have to clean the litter-boxes, but it should have been in great shape. What I arose to was a total disaster. The sink was full of dishes, not to mention glasses and bowls in the living room. There was dirty cloths on the floor and a pair of stinky socks in the recliner.

I was of course very interested in what happened as my son and El Chupacobra had gone to other houses to stay and my wife was on the other side of the state. I was alone in the house (except for the animals), but I have never seen them use dishes or wear cloths (at least without help getting dressed – which I did NOT give them). So I was more than a little bit confused.

I investigated the situation and came to the conclusion that elves, phantoms, pixies, gremlins, and all manner of fantastic creatures must have utilized my house as the most recent scene of gang initiations. They may have even made adult films. As you may know, pixies and fae creatures use plates, bowls, glasses, and silverware in their intricate initiation rituals. When a new faerie wishes to join the ranks of the Fae gang they are ritually tortured and abused with all manner of kitchen item, and these creatures are known for their deeply help religious beliefs that once a plate, glass, or fork has been touched by human food it cannot be moved again. This thus explains the multitude of dishes I discovered when I got up. I also speculate that a Fae adult video was made in my living room. This would explain the stinky nasty clothing I discovered.

Its either that or my son came home about 45 minutes before I got up and made the mess himself!