Open Letter to teenagers, continued...

Dear Teenagers,

In an effort to make you better humans, or at least someone we can live with, I have been trying to come up with solutions to your aberrant behaviors.

SOLUTIONS:
Take away the cell phones – I could cancel or confiscate the cell phones. Of course then the lesson of bills is subjugated to cleanliness. Plus I don’t think it would motivate you to clean. I know from past privilege removals and punishments that you just don’t care. You would rather live in filth and boredom than help with chores.
Empty the bedrooms – I could clear everything out of your bedroom. You would have little to make a mess with if its all gone. I love this idea. It is a fitting course of action for your ill-mannered and obscenely disrespectful behaviors. The problem is that I have no place to put all of your sh!t (and you have tons). I could put deadbolt locks on your closet doors, but the closet doors are damaged (by teenagers) and may not be sufficient. I could rent a storage shed, but then I am paying for your problem. I could take the rental fee out of your paychecks, but that is like pulling teeth, and the fact is you need to save every last penny you earn (not that you do). I could just let it go, but there are health codes and laws against the way you prefer to live. It just makes me want to beat you with a pipe. If I am going to use this solution I will need to install deadbolts and doors. As I already have the locks, I would only have to deal with the door. I like this option the best of all that I have come up with.

By the way, all of this adds to you’re a$$hole status, and that’s not a good thing.

I am so angry at the way you choose to live and the method you use to do such. You choose to live in total filth and without care for those around you. It is obvious you hate the other children in the house. It is even obvious the degree to which you hate them. Each of you frequently goes to great length to sabotage the others, you are willing to live “without” in order to make the other suffer. This makes you a bad person.

There are many days that I wish I could beat you. Fists, pipe, bat, whip, auto accident…