Left-handed Lire

The situation at work is such that, we as a group are pretty much overwhelmed. There are more requests coming in and the systems to deal with these requests are bogged down in vile reorganization and constantly shifting targets. The end resultant is that work is backing up and little or nothing goes out the door.

This is particularly sensitive in the world of text deliverables. The product here is a document, but if it becomes bogged down (or even moves at a good clip) the target moves and it gets submerged into the realm of can’t get out the door. By the time the new methods are integrated, the methods have changed and the documents go into perpetual flux. There are nearly 500 documents in this trap. The condition is complicated by the reality that new work keeps coming in at such a rate that we have a full day/week work of projects at any given time.

This brings me to a particular project. Lets call it project X.

Submitting this project is a very high maintenance individual. He/she made the request in a very light and airy tone [via email]. They stated that this was not urgent. About two hours later I received another email asking when I thought I could get to this project. Keep in mind that I had not even read the first email, because I was working on another project.

Well about 40 minutes after the second email came in I received a phone call/voice mail. In that message, he/she detailed the project [same as in the email] and that the project was not urgent, but that they were looking for a idea of when they could expect it.

This call came in when I was on my way to a meeting. When I returned from the meeting [about 2 hours later], I discovered I had not one, but three voice mails. They were all from the same requester. The first was pretty light and very friendly. The second was a little more frantic and asked if I was in the office that day or had I forgotten to change my voice mail to indicate I was out. The third message contained a more urgent request for the document. “The project was heating up” and “Just wondering where it was.”

While listening to the messages, he/she called again. Where in, it went straight to voice mail. This fourth message indicated that some people were now asking for the document, and it would be “great if it was nearly finished”

At this point I simply responded to their first email confirming that I had the document request. I also initiated a project request in our system [and thank God, I did]. In less than 5 minutes, even before I could finish the request entry, my phone was again ringing. I should have left it to go to voice mail, but I thought that perhaps if I talked to him/her I could put an end to this quickly and quietly.

NOPE

I answered the phone and did not get another word in for more than 10 minutes. They went through this huge detailed explanation on what the project was and how it is now this huge rush because they had requested the document at 10:15 that morning and it was now nearly one. When they finished explaining everything and asked me when I was going to get to the document, I replied that it was going to be several weeks, due to some staffing shortages. That was when I was cut off and he/she went through the whole story of how this document was urgent and who was looking for it and such. Then they asked when the document was going to be done.

Who am I Scotty telling Captain Kirk he can’t have his warp drive for 6 hours and then delivering it in 20 minutes? What was being asked for was close to 8 hours of work plus peer reviews, technical review and corporate approval. This assumes that no significant items pop up in the workflow and derail the project.

Taking a different track, I went into an explanation of the process. He cut across me after about 10 seconds and asked the question again. I replied that it would be weeks. An easy track would be two weeks and a bad track would be 4 to 6 weeks. He/she then had me confirm that I was saying weeks, not minutes or hours. I conformed this – twice [as if I stuttered or mumbled or spoke in tongues]



Well you might guess that this individual was not in the least bit happy, but I was able to get them off the phone and return to my work.

I got about two hours into my work and was summoned into my managers office with several other big chiefs. I was then questioned about Project X. I went thought the same song and dance about the no rush to rush in 3 hours and the amount of work it would require. I was dismissed and went back to work.

About 30 minutes before I was going to head home, and long after everybody else had left, I received a second request from this person. The request was rather straightforward and was similar to the previous request, but it was sent to my manager, his manager, and all the big chiefs. The first line of the message was the date [in bold] when the request was made. Now mind you that it was nearly 5:45pm when this came in.

I felt that by coping all those people, I was being called a lying incompetent idiot.

Well needless to say, it is two weeks and a day from the Project X request, and I am pushing this through, but its so screwed that I don’t even have basic composition information, manufacturing locations, or yearly production estimates. I sent back an email asking for this needed information and then called the requester. I got their voicemail and left a long message detailing the process and requesting the information.

I just got a response back that they are gathering the information, but it might take some time and then asking how long it would take to get the document once I got the info.

I took the time to respond and mention that his/her second request would need the same type of information to move forward, but have not heard on that one. What I did get was another voicemail asking when the second project would be done.

Perhaps if I went into a trance and started chanting in Hebrew, then broke into song [Rogers and Hammerstein] I would effectively convey my message!