Who would want a job, I want a Pay Check,?

My son, now 18, is struggling with the big questions of the universe. You might ask, What great question is he wrestling with: What should I do with my life? What will make me happy in this world? What is my relationship with God? Or even, what is the meaning of life? If you guessed any of these you would be wrong. He is struggling with the great and powerful question, “How do I avoid getting a job, but still make people think I am trying?”

In this economy it’s pretty easy to not have a job. Point of fact nationally, if you select ten random people and ask them if they have a job, more than one of them will be without a job. That means to me that it IS hard to find a job, but in my son’s case it is impossible.

We were on our ride to school today, because he decided it was impossible for him to put in the effort to complete high school, when I had to tell him that because of a schedule change I would not be able to take him to school tomorrow. It should be stated that he does not have school tomorrow. His school open Monday through Thursday, and he has to be there for ten hours during the week. He has been doing two four hour days (the longest he can in a single day) and a 2 hour day. For the past 10 week that has translated into me getting him up and driving him 16 miles to school. As I don’t hang around, that results in an investment of 64 miles a day (1920 miles so far). My frustration is multiplied in that we drive right past the high school every time.

On this particular morning as I was explaining how Friday had become complicated, and I would not be able to pick him up until three hours past when he would be through (taking a test). He came back at me with how it is impossible for him to get a job because we were so undependable. Taking offense to his comment I told him that he does not want a job. If he wanted a job as badly as he indicated he would be willing to spend time waiting for a ride. This turned into his exclamation about how he is not going to be sitting around from 10am (or whenever he got done with work) until 11pm at night to get a ride; and he would just be hanging around in the restaurant (which is the only place he can envision himself working), as the people would be getting sick of him. I responded that he was mind reading, as he is a wonderful young man and people love to be around him.

At that point he got so upset that he refused to go to school and I should turn around. Being 18 and all, we returned home. He was giving up on everything because he was challenged on his job search. It is also worth mentioning that his level of anxiety was raised sufficiently that on the ride back he told me that when he gets a job he is moving in with his mom. I just told him I would miss him.

The whole job hunting process has been an ongoing nightmare. He has had three jobs since he was 14, the longest was for 4 months. The first was in a restaurant, but he had some difficulties with authority and quickly decided to search for another job. This first job was some 24 miles from our house, but yet we were able to get him to every shift. I also spent a number of hours waiting in the restaurant (doing work/homework) so that he would be able to leave the moment he was done. Although I was not thrilled with the time I had to invest in his job I felt it was worth the effort. His problems at work exploded when 14 weeks into the job he was accused of stealing from fellow employees. In response he found another job, this one as a cook in a local bar. He was fired from this job for not performing his duties well. The following summer his biological-aunt found him a grounds keeper job at the nursing home where she worked. He attended this job exactly three times before telling me that he quit. (Yes you read that right, he told me he quit, not his boss.) He indicated that a summer job would not fit into his schedule of seeing friends and that he would get another job when school started – when he was less busy. That was two years ago and he has not worked a day since.

We have tried to help him find work. We have had numerous job hunting trips. These include running around all of God’s creation to pick up applications. My wife and I quickly learned that we had to wait for him to fill out the applications at the location and turn them in, because more than once my son collected a huge stack of applications and they just sat in his room. We also put together a quick reference guide to application. This included his work history, references, school address and all kinds of phone numbers; you know all the stuff that goes on an application. We had to do this because otherwise the applications would get about 20% filled out and turned in. My beloved wife, bless her heart, even filled out and returned about 10 applications for him.

With applications turned in we needs to call these places back, but apparently this is a step that is just too hard. We help him remember, as he asks us to do so, but when he has the chance to call he doesn’t. He lies about calling places. So what is a concerned father to do?

To wrap this very long story up, we came home today and my son was slamming doors and calling his borderline girlfriend, but eventually came to me and said that he called two places back and they didn’t even have a hiring manager there. The implication was that he has done EVERYTHING and he still can’t get a job. I asked him when he was going to call back and he looked at me like I had grown an extra head. “I have no idea.” He exclaimed, “They didn’t tell me when the manager would be in.” I replied that I thought that was an excellent excuse for not getting a job, there was no way he could be expected to know when these people work so how is he to know when to call back. There was just a little too much sarcasm in my voice, but it worked. He called both places back to find out when the manager would be in!

Well that was about 40 minutes ago, he came back to me and wanted to know when after lunch was.