Campfire and the Internet

Tonight I find myself sitting on my deck. This is not such an unusual thing as I love to be out her during the warmer months. This spring has been pretty cool and my arrival to the deck is somewhat delayed, but now that I am here – Oh God is it nice!

I have, on many an occasion, brought my computer or portable DVD player to the deck, where I can surf the web, watch a movie, or even do homework. This is a very nice way to be! Recently we purchased a deck fireplace. You have all seen them at Wal-Mart of wherever. They are like a round bubble of fireplace and have a little chimney on top. Mine is screen all round with a cast-iron base. It even has a grill in it if you want to roast hotdogs or char some lobster tails.

I picked it up after showing it to my wife (who fell in love with it). It was a perfectly warm and absolutely wonderful day when we picked it up, but by the time we got home and got it assembled it was just too late to light it up. So it sat on the deck for four days – mocking me with its potential warmth and mesmerizing fire light. Night after terrible night it was either raining or I had night class or the likes. I was tortured by a 73 pound big fat cast iron pot.

Well the torture has ended. I finished my obligations for the night and lit the thing up. Now with computer in hand I am sitting on my deck with internet and enjoying a perfect fire. LIFE IS GOOD!

It is going to get even better. I have herb grilled chicken breasts, garlic mashed potatoes and dressing waiting for me and my exalted wife will soon be joining me. With the dogs fed the whole house is quiet. I can hear the highway in the distance, but it is really more background noise than anything else.

Of course sitting here thinking makes me remember all the homework I have to do and all of the professional work I have to do, but a fire helps you say “Oh f*ck it.” Cuz there is always too much work and never enough time and you really have to take care of yourself!
I think if there is anything that results in the demise of a psychologist (or any helping professional) it failure to look after your own needs. Here we are working to make everybody else’s life better that we forget to improve our own. It is frighteningly insidious in that respect. All of our time and energy goes to others, which is not a bad thing, but we fail to put in the time required to nourish out own happiness.

It happens for me in the dumbest things. I do pretty well with knowing when my school work is getting to me. I am doing a pretty good job at not letting the professional crap get to me either, but I tend to focus on doing those things (and the housework). The reality is that there is never enough time to do everything, so it’s not any single thing, but the work as a whole that gets to me, plus I don’t tend to even notice until I am really unhappy and stressed. Hence here I am sitting by the fire with my computer and a nice meal, just telling the complete mess of work to “F” off.