I only wanted a bottle of pop, Diet Mountain Dew to be specific. You see coffee is kind of off the menu because I can’t use the cream I was using and I don’t yet have a good replacement.
I wanted to stop at McDonalds and get a pair of those little McGriddle sandwiches, but I know how bad those are AND McDs does not have Diet Mt. Dew. So I figured I would get a little breakfast and a pop at work. Plus I get to start the work clock just that much earlier.
SO I get to work, but have a line of people needing to talk to me. By the time I clear the queue it is about 8:50 and the breakfast place closes at 9.
Perfect, I will just make it! NOPE
Urgent GI issues force a pit stop.
Now I am late!
The grill is down so I have to have a vending machine breakfast. Fine, pretzels for breakfast, but at least I can get my Diet Dew.
This would be great except – in all three of their soda coolers – NO DIET DEW!
Well now I am a man on a mission. I went back up to my cube and stopped at the pop machine. NO DEW!
Next I went to the vending machine in the lobby – NO DIET DEW!
OK there are 6+ floors in this building and each floor has at least two soda machines. I went up a floor, because there are fewer people there and thus the pop machines get less use?!?
You guessed it – NO “F”ing Diet DEW
Off to that lobby – no dew
Down two floors – well one machine doesn’t even offer Pepsi – damb it!
Down another floor – I found Diet Mountain Dew!!!!!
I don’t have enough change left because I got the pretzels!
The Universe Hates Diet Mountain Dew!
All the way down to the breakfast store for change of $20 then back up to the vending machine and I was ready to get my Diet Dew. When I pressed the button and started the inner working of this crazy machine a going – the bottle of pop came shooting out and flew about 6 feet across the room.
This would be bad enough, but it rolled under a set of tables and back against a wall. It might have been running for its life, knowing how much I wanted this pop at this time, but I think it was just supernal gravity distortions.
There I am, in my jacket and tie, on my hands and knees crawling under a bunch of tables to get my soda.
The Universe Hates Me!
I wanted to stop at McDonalds and get a pair of those little McGriddle sandwiches, but I know how bad those are AND McDs does not have Diet Mt. Dew. So I figured I would get a little breakfast and a pop at work. Plus I get to start the work clock just that much earlier.
SO I get to work, but have a line of people needing to talk to me. By the time I clear the queue it is about 8:50 and the breakfast place closes at 9.
Perfect, I will just make it! NOPE
Urgent GI issues force a pit stop.
Now I am late!
The grill is down so I have to have a vending machine breakfast. Fine, pretzels for breakfast, but at least I can get my Diet Dew.
This would be great except – in all three of their soda coolers – NO DIET DEW!
Well now I am a man on a mission. I went back up to my cube and stopped at the pop machine. NO DEW!
Next I went to the vending machine in the lobby – NO DIET DEW!
OK there are 6+ floors in this building and each floor has at least two soda machines. I went up a floor, because there are fewer people there and thus the pop machines get less use?!?
You guessed it – NO “F”ing Diet DEW
Off to that lobby – no dew
Down two floors – well one machine doesn’t even offer Pepsi – damb it!
Down another floor – I found Diet Mountain Dew!!!!!
I don’t have enough change left because I got the pretzels!
The Universe Hates Diet Mountain Dew!
All the way down to the breakfast store for change of $20 then back up to the vending machine and I was ready to get my Diet Dew. When I pressed the button and started the inner working of this crazy machine a going – the bottle of pop came shooting out and flew about 6 feet across the room.
This would be bad enough, but it rolled under a set of tables and back against a wall. It might have been running for its life, knowing how much I wanted this pop at this time, but I think it was just supernal gravity distortions.
There I am, in my jacket and tie, on my hands and knees crawling under a bunch of tables to get my soda.
The Universe Hates Me!
1 comment:
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