Finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. We had a Harry Potter Weekend where I played the audio files through my stereo system. My wife and I absolutely loved the experience. I have such fond memories of being read too, as does she. I also find it very claming, probably because bed time was the preferred time for a book, and it sooths the soul. I know I could have finished it in half the time it took to listen to it, but it was such fun. I simply can’t think of a better way to have experienced it.

“Simply can’t” or “Simply Perfect” or even “Simply huge” Simply is one of those words that JKR can’t do without.

The kids were in simple agony (to use the JKR style). The eldest was either sleeping or PS2-ing and that left the younger to struggle against himself for entertainment (My son was absent from the scene). The youngest was tortured. He has such trouble being alone with his thoughts. He can’t stand to be board, as he is confronted with his demons and all the pain. It must be like an emotional iron maiden that begins to close when he is quiet. You can see the pain in his face, it's nearly unbearable. As the quiet grows and he is subjected to his own feelings he suffers.

This child does not know things like joy, happiness, and bliss, at least not from an emotional stand point. The feelings that we strive to for most of our lives are completely absent in him. They are not mute or less or even ignored, in him they are missing all together. I think that most of us can not imagine an existence where these feelings don’t exist. If you put your mind too it, I can delve into that idea, but it is a very frightening place to traverse. What must the world look like to a child who cannot love and where the very concept is foreign? Look around and begin to see what that must appear to be like for him.

Imagine, if you will, the scene of a mother scolding her child for lifting a bit of gum from the local grocery store. You sees a growing child who is being educated in a lesson of morality. The advice is coming from a safe and caring figure in their life. The child is ashamed of his behavior, because he displeased his mother. He revels in seeing her pleased and dreads causing her to be displeased. The scene may conclude with the child having to go back to the grocer and apologize for this action, or may even have to try and make amends for his transgressions. The mother’s love is motive for her harsh tone and her desire to raise a good descent man is her motive for the scolding.

Now imagine, if you can, what this scene would look like if there was no such thing as love. The child was trying to indulge in something that is pleasing, a sweet treat. The parent is prohibiting that simple indulgence. The child is being punished and subjected to abuse. The mother is trying to control the child’s behavior so that SHE does not get into trouble. The child is being trained through abuse, much the same way one might use a choke collar on a dog. The child is forced, by a bigger tougher bully of a person, to suffer humiliation as he is forced to apologize for his actions. The mother is a sadistic jailer and the child a helpless prisoner being denied basic indulgence.

The second scenario is how my youngest foster child sees life. The frightening thing is that he believes everybody functions in the same way. All of our actions are self-centered and his subjugation is for our gain. Once you are that twisted around and closed off, I am perplexed as to how to reach him.

I spend a great deal of time thinking about how to help this child. He is nearly an adult, but in an emotional way is never going to be ready to be a part of society. He is suffering. An animal that is threatened and fearful is likely to lash out. In that way he is dangerous.