I just can’t wait...

I received a rather frantic call today. I was at work and in between clients when my cell phone rang. In picking it up I noticed that there were three missed calls. Turns out they were all from my son, and all occurred in the last 90 minutes.
I picked up the phone and was going to launch into the typical Dad stuff [you know: How was School? What time did you get home? How was your day? Did you find something to snack on? What are your plans tonight?] when I was yelled at for not picking up my phone sooner.
When he had finished the ranting and raving, I asked him what was wrong. He replied, “I have been calling you for over 2 hours. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
I replied that I was with clients and can’t take phone calls during that time unless its an emergency. In which case he needs to call the front desk and talk to the AA.
Of course, he could not remember the number for the front desk, so I naturally asked him what the emergency was.
“I can’t find El Chupacobra and I wanted to go hang out. Do you know where he is?”
I happened to know that he was working this evening, but I was more puzzled by the idea that El Chupacobra’s whereabouts was an emergency. Calling him on this he again got angry.
This then started a b!tch session about payment for a chore he preformed.

You see, this child has not held a job for months and the job he had back in May he quit saying that he “didn’t have time to work during the summer.” Before that he was unemployed for over a year and quit that job because they wanted him to work in areas of the restaurant that he was sick of doing. Needless to say he has not had very much money over the past year and a half.

About the chore – About two days ago he asked out a young woman and she said “Yas”
This is great, but it presented my wonderful son with a few problems.
1) He does not have transportation, as he failed to maintain a car that was given to him and now sits disabled in my front lawn.
2) He has no cash, as he has spent all his birthday money [from a day ago] and has no job.
3) He fails to maintain even the most basic home requirements [clean room; put dishes in dishwasher; put coat in closet or room; don’t leave dirty socks or other belongings in common areas], and wants to be paid to do something.

He planned the date for Saturday, or two days from today. To solve the transportation problem he worked out a vehicle sharing arrangement with his mother, and was granted some degree of free gas (as well). To solve the money problem, he asked to do something around the house. I offered him the chance to mow the lawn (about 1.5 hours of work) and would pay him $12. Although he wanted $30, he still agreed to do the work. He completed the chore yesterday, but was told that he would be paid in time for his date. This made the assumption that he was going to spend the $s on the date (STUPID ME)!

In today’s phone call he explained (read yelled at me) that he wanted the money now. He further explained that he wanted the money to have in his pocket, and went on to say that he didn’t need any help saving his money and I was treating him like a little kid.

Well that was wonderful and such a precious family moment.

So who here is stupid enough to think that if he had that money right now there would be even two red pennies left over by Saturday? Any guesses why he wants the money right now?

At any rate, I enjoyed my family today!

Guesses:
1) Pot
2) Green Cigarettes
3) Marijuana
4) Shwag
5) Hemp
6) Snuff
7) Dope
8) Grass
9) Weed
10) Mary Jane
11) Ganja
12) THC
13) Cannabis
14) Skunk
15) Hash
16) Dagga
17) Chronic
18) Diggy
19) Ditch weed
20) Joint